The Chibis Go To Kindergarten
by SSJSkaterTrunks
Summary: OMFG I UPDATED! Chibi Cell, Bulma, Chi Chi, Goku, Vegeta, 18, 17, Piccolo, Frieza, Zarbon, Dodoria, Launch and Krillin all go to kindergarten and drive their teacher crazy.
1. Chapter 1

Woohoo! A new fic!! I've had this idea in my head for awhile. Hope you like it!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: Cell? Cell: I'm not saying the disclaimer unless I'm in this story! Me: You are in this fic. Cell: I am? Me: Yep. Cell: Awesome! Jessica doesn't own DBZ.  
  
***  
  
Ms. Applebee was very excited. Today was her first day of teaching kindergarten and she really wanted to meet her students. She placed nametags on every desk. She sat and waited for her students. The door opened and a bunch of kids walked in.  
  
"Hello. My name is Ms. Applebee. I'm your teacher."  
  
The kids just stared at her.  
  
"I guess you're all nervous. Put your stuff in a cubby. Then on the desks are tags with your name on them. Find your name and sit down. If you need help ask me."  
  
Everyone walked around the classroom looking for their names. Soon everyone was seated.  
  
"Good job. Now I'm going to take attendance. When I call your name say here. Cell?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Frieza?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Vegeta?"  
  
"That's Prince Vegeta and I'm here."  
  
"Ok. Piccolo?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Bulma?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Chi Chi?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"18?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"17?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Zarbon?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Krillin?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"And Goku?"  
  
Everyone looked around.  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
Goku was sitting by the cubbies eating everyone's snacks.  
  
"Goku snack time is later ok?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Good. That means everyone is here. Now I'm going to give you all a piece of paper and I want you to tell me about yourselves. When you're done, hand me the paper and I'm going to read them out loud."  
  
Ms. Applebee handed everyone paper and they began to write. A couple of minuets later everyone finished.  
  
"Ok. I'm going to read them now. Cell wrote this one:  
  
Hi. My name is Cell and I'm in my 1st form. I must absorb 17 and 18 to become more powerful. Once absorbed I will become perfect and shall blow up the earth."  
  
Ms. Applebee looked and Cell and he smiled at her.  
  
"Ok, that was…interesting…this one was written by Bulma:  
  
Hello. My name is Bulma Brief. I'm 5 years old. My daddy owns the Capsule Corporation. I'll be in charge of it when I'm older. I hope to become a successful scientist.  
  
Very good!"  
  
Bulma smiled.  
  
"This one was written by Chi Chi:  
  
Hi! My name is Chi Chi. I'm 5 and I want to be a cook when I'm older. I really want to marry Goku. He's so cute! My child is going to be a scholar."  
  
Goku's face was bright red.  
  
"Good. Goku wrote this one:  
  
Hey! My name is Son Goku. I want to be a fighter when I grow up. I hope to become the strongest fighter. I also like to eat. Eating is one of my favorite things.  
  
That was very nice Goku."  
  
Goku smiled at Ms. Applebee.  
  
"The next one was written by Veget…"  
  
Vegeta scowled at the teacher.  
  
"I'm sorry. Prince Vegeta wrote this:  
  
My name is Vegeta. I'm the prince of all saiyans. If you don't know what a saiyan is, you're a baka. I hope to become the strongest fighter and will surpass Kakarotto or as you call him Goku. I also want to rule the universe."  
  
Ms. Applebee stared at Vegeta.  
  
"Uh ok. 18 wrote this one:  
  
My full name is Android 18. I'm an artificial being created by Dr. Gero. My purpose is to kill Goku.  
  
Um…ok that was…uh good."  
  
Goku moved his chair away from 18.  
  
"This is 17's:  
  
Hello human. My full name is Android 17. I am 18's brother. I was also created by Dr. Gero for the same reason 18 was. However, 18 and I killed Dr. Gero. We now do whatever we please.  
  
Um ok…that's nice."  
  
Ms. Applebee picked up the next paper.  
  
"This is Piccolo's:  
  
Hi. My name is Piccolo. I'm a namek. I came from an egg. I was supposed to kill Goku, but I have decided against it. I want to rule the Earth. Oh yeah, I like to meditate.  
  
Um wow Goku's not that popular."  
  
Ms. Applebee got the next paper.  
  
"This one is Frieza's:  
  
Hello weakling. My name is Frieza. I am the strongest being in the universe. You will bow before me or die! I am very close to ruling the universe, well actually my father is. Once he has every planet under his control, I shall kill him and rule everything! Muahahaha!  
  
Ms. Applebee looked at Frieza and he smirked at her.  
  
"Right. Zarbon wrote this one:  
  
Hi. My name is Zarbon. I like to fight and I serve Lord Frieza. I am his right hand man.  
  
Ok… This is Dodoria's:  
  
Hi. My name is Dodoria. I like to eat and fight. I also serve Lord Frieza.  
  
Ok."  
  
Ms. Applebee was thinking of quitting after today.  
  
"This is Lunch's:  
  
Hi! My name is Lunch. I have a split personality. Every time I sneeze, I become a mean girl with blonde hair. The only way to get me back is to make me sneeze again."  
  
Ms. Applebee looked at Lunch and Lunch smiled sweetly at her.  
  
"The last one is Krillin's:  
  
Hi. My name is Krillin. I like to fight, but not that much. I think I want to be a monk when I grow up.  
  
Ok."  
  
Ms. Applebee sighed and sat down.  
  
"Why don't you all play for the rest of the day."  
  
"Yea!"  
  
Cell looked over at 17 and 18. He smiled and got up. 17 and 18 looked at each over. The slowly backed away. Frieza was giving orders to Zarbon and Dodoria. Goku was eating while Vegeta was telling him to fight. Chi Chi and Bulma were playing house with Lunch and Krillin. Piccolo was meditating.  
  
***  
  
"Come on Kakarotto! Fight me!"  
  
"But Vegeta…"  
  
"What are you too scared Kakarotto?"  
  
"No I'm hungry!"  
  
***  
  
"Ok. We have to make plans to take over this classroom. Zarbon go get some paper and crayons."  
  
"Yes Lord Frieza."  
  
"Dodoria find me some slaves."  
  
"Yes Lord Frieza."  
  
***  
  
Cell had just absorbed 17.  
  
"Yes almost there!"  
  
He was about to chase after 18 when Dordoria walked in front of him.  
  
"Out of my way fat ass!"  
  
18 ran over to the teacher.  
  
"Ms. Applebee! Cell is trying to absorb me! He just absorbed my brother! Please help me!"  
  
"Must die, must die, must die…"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Ms. Applebee was trying to kill herself with a plastic knife. Cell came running over.  
  
"Hahaha I got you now 18!"  
  
"Not so fast!"  
  
Krillin came running over.  
  
"I won't let you absorb her!"  
  
Cell just pushed Krillin out of the way and absorbed 18.  
  
"Hahahaha! I'm finally perfect!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Krillin tried attacking Cell, but he just wound up hurting his hand. Cell was busy looking at himself. He powered up a little and Krillin went flying into a wall.  
  
***  
  
"Well since we lost Krillin, I don't think we can play house anymore."  
  
Dodoria walked over to them.  
  
"You now work for Lord Frieza. Come with me."  
  
He went to grab Chi Chi, but she picked up a plastic frying pan from the kitchen center and whacked Dodoria with it.  
  
"Get away!"  
  
Dodoria rubbed his head and grabbed Lunch's wrist.  
  
"Come quietly or I'll drag you all there!"  
  
Lunch wrinkled her nose.  
  
"Ah…ahh…ahhhh choouuu!"  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi both smile.  
  
"Get your hands off me asshole!"  
  
Lunch kicked Dodoria where the sun don't shine.  
  
"OUCH!!"  
  
Dodoria started running.  
  
"Get back her you fucking coward!"  
  
"Who are we going to play house with?"  
  
***  
  
"Kakarotto as your prince, I demand you fight me now!"  
  
"But Vegeta, I'm hungry!"  
  
Cell walked by.  
  
"I'll fight you Vegeta."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Vegeta and Cell walked away. Chi Chi came up behind Goku.  
  
"Hello Goku."  
  
"Uh hi Chi Chi. Why do you have a rope in your hand?"  
  
"What rope?"  
  
Chi Chi hid the rope behind her back.  
  
"Um the rope you just put behind your back."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about. Here I brought you this pudding. It's chocolate."  
  
"Mmm! Thanks!"  
  
Goku took the pudding and started eating it. While he was distracted Chi Chi and Bulma tied up Goku.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Chi Chi and Bulma dragged Goku away.  
  
"Hheellpp!!"  
  
***  
  
Ms. Applebee was still trying to stab herself with the plastic knife.  
  
"Must die, can't live, crazy kids, teaching blows, must die, kid absorbed 2 other kids, 2 kids tied another kid up and are forcing him to play, 2 kids are planning to take over the classroom, one kid is trying to kill another kid with a machine gun, kid that absorbed kids is fighting the kid with a tail, a kid is unconscious, kid is meditating, need to die now…"  
  
***  
  
"Ok Zarbon, then we go over here and…"  
  
"That sounds good Lord Frieza."  
  
"Where's Dodoria?"  
  
Dodoria comes running by with Lunch right behind him.  
  
"Get back here!"  
  
"Help me!"  
  
***  
  
"Ok. Goku is my husband and Bulma you need a husband."  
  
They looked around the classroom and spotted Piccolo in the corner. They both got a weird look in their eyes.  
  
***  
  
The teacher was rocking back and forth petting the knife.  
  
"What's that Mr. Knife, this is all in my head? I'm just imaging this and the only way to stop is to die? Huh? You want to help me? Why thank you. Did you know I love you Mr. Knife? I love you with all my heart!"  
  
Ms. Applebee started kissing the knife.  
  
***  
  
"Is that the best you can do Vegeta? You disappoint me!"  
  
"Grr…I will win Cell!"  
  
Vegeta threw a ki blast and Cell dodged it. The blast blew up half a wall.  
  
***  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi crept over to Piccolo. They took out the rope and tied him up.  
  
"What the…what the heck are you doing?"  
  
"We're playing house and you're Bulma's husband."  
  
Piccolo just stared in horror. Chi Chi and Bulma dragged Piccolo over to where Goku was. Goku went to open his mouth.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
***  
  
Lunch finally caught Dodoria.  
  
"Haha…now I've got you!"  
  
She was about to pull the trigger when she sneezed.  
  
"Huh? What's going on?"  
  
Dodoria pushed her off him and ran over to Frieza.  
  
"Well Dodoria, where are my slaves?"  
  
"Oops."  
  
Frieza charged up a ki ball. He was about to kill Dodoria when the bell rang. Ms. Applebee jumped out of her chair.  
  
"Leave! Go home you demons!"  
  
Everyone got their stuff and left.  
  
***  
  
Woot! Did you like it? Please review! Thanks *gives thumbs up* Damn this story really killed my spell check. 


	2. Chapter 2

Woot! Chapter 2!! Thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: *sleeping on keyboard* Cell: Jessica? *shakes me* Me:.. Cell: Wake up! Me: Too tired from running 2 miles in gym…you say the disclaimer. Cell: Jessica doesn't own DBZ.  
  
***  
  
Everyone was sitting and talking.  
  
"Do you think Ms. Applebee will still teach us?"  
  
"I don't know. She was talking to a plastic knife."  
  
The door opened and all heads turned in that direction. Ms. Applebee walked in.  
  
"Hello everyone. I know we got off to a bad start so I made you guys some cookies."  
  
"COOKIES!"  
  
Goku jumped up and down. Ms. Applebee smiled.  
  
"Ok I'll take attendance and then we can have some cookies."  
  
Goku was drooling on his desk.  
  
"Cell?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Bulma?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Chi Chi?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Ve…umm…Prince Vegeta?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"18?"  
  
"18 and 17 aren't here and won't be here ever again."  
  
Ms. Applebee looked at Cell and remembered what happened yesterday.  
  
"Oh yes, that's right. Piccolo?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Frieza?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Zarbon?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"And Krillin?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Good. Everyone can take some cookies now."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Goku jumped out of his seat and ran over to the cookies.  
  
"Um Goku, leave some for everyone else."  
  
"Oh…ok…"  
  
Ms. Applebee noticed Piccolo was still sitting.  
  
"Piccolo don't you like cookies?"  
  
"I only drink water."  
  
"Oh."  
  
'This kid is weird.'  
  
"Hey Kakarotto, let's have an eating contest. I bet I can eat all these before you."  
  
"No way!"  
  
"I bet I can eat these faster than all of you because I'm perfect."  
  
"Being perfect has nothing to do with eating the fastest."  
  
"On the count of 3, we'll all start. 1…2…3…"  
  
Ms. Applebee just stared and the girls laughed as the boys wolfed down their cookies.  
  
"I won!"  
  
"No Kakarotto, I think Dodoria won."  
  
"No way I won because I'm perfect!"  
  
"SHUT UP ABOUT BEING PERFECT!"  
  
"Make me! I beat the crap out of you yesterday!"  
  
"Grr…"  
  
Ms. Applebee noticed everyone fighting.  
  
"Ok! Let's break it up!"  
  
Everyone went back to their seats.  
  
"Ok. Can anyone tell me the alphabet?"  
  
Everyone raised their hands.  
  
"Hmm…Cell, why don't you tell us the alphabet."  
  
"Ok. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z."  
  
"Wonderful! That was perfect."  
  
"Of course it was, I am perfect."  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes.  
  
"I can say it faster and better!"  
  
"Ok Prince Vegeta. Why don't you say it?"  
  
"Fine. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ! Haha I said it faster and way better than you!"  
  
"No you didn't!"  
  
"You both said it perfectly."  
  
Cell and Vegeta glared at each other.  
  
"Ok. Goku why don't you say it now?"  
  
"Ok. A…umm…B…C D E F G H…I J K L M N O P…Q…R S T U V W X Y…Z?"  
  
"Good job."  
  
"What are you talking about! He said umm and he paused after some letters! I can do way better than that! No monkey is going to say the alphabet better than me!"  
  
"Ok Frieza, you say it now."  
  
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ. Ha!"  
  
"You missed the letter R, but it was still good."  
  
"What! I did no such thing!"  
  
"Zarbon, would you like to say it?"  
  
"Sure. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ."  
  
"Wonderful!"  
  
"It was good, but Frieza's was way better."  
  
Frieza smiled at Dodoria. Bulma, Chi Chi and Lunch just looked at each other.  
  
"These guys are so weird. Who cares who said it the best?"  
  
"Yeah it was so obvious that Goku said it the best."  
  
Bulma and Lunch shook their heads.  
  
"I feel bad for Piccolo, he's so quiet."  
  
"Yeah, maybe we should play with him during play time."  
  
"Me and Chi Chi played with him yesterday, he didn't like it too much."  
  
"Oh, well we should still try."  
  
"Ok class! I'm going to hand out paper and you can draw whatever you want. Then when everyone's finished, you can come to the front of the class and tell us about your drawing."  
  
Ms. Applebee handed out the paper and sat down at her desk. She opened a drawer and took out some Tylenol.  
  
'These kids give me such a headache. I don't think I'll make it the rest of the day.'  
  
A couple of minutes later, everyone finished.  
  
"Ok. Cell why don't go first?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
Cell walked up to the front of the classroom. He held up his picture.  
  
"This is a picture of me blowing up planet Earth."  
  
'Not this again.'  
  
Ms. Applebee rubbed her temples.  
  
"Um that's great Cell. Bulma, your next."  
  
"Kay."  
  
Bulma walked to the front of the room and held up her picture.  
  
"This is a blueprint of an invention I made."  
  
'Wow…'  
  
"Nice job Bulma. Chi Chi?"  
  
Chi Chi walked to the front of the classroom.  
  
"This is a picture of my wedding day. This is me and this is Goku."  
  
"Good job. Goku it's your turn."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Goku held up his picture.  
  
"This is a picture of me eating lots of food!"  
  
"Good. Prince Vegeta?"  
  
Vegeta walked over and held up his picture.  
  
"This is a picture of me killing Kakarotto AKA Goku."  
  
Ms. Applebee took out more Tylenol.  
  
"Uh nice. Your turn Piccolo."  
  
Piccolo got up and walked to the front of the classroom.  
  
"This is a picture of me meditating."  
  
"Good…Frieza?"  
  
"This is a picture of me on my thrown."  
  
"Um ok. Zarbon?"  
  
"This is a picture of me fighting."  
  
"Nice…Dodoria?"  
  
"This is a picture of me serving Lord Frieza."  
  
"Krillin?"  
  
"This is a picture of me when I'm older."  
  
"Good. Lunch?"  
  
"This is a picture of me cooking stuff."  
  
"Ok. It's snack time."  
  
"YEA!"  
  
Goku ran over to his cubby and took out a capsule. He pressed the button and threw it down. 5 tables covered with food came out. Vegeta had the same. Piccolo took out a bottle of water. Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria took out Twinkies. Krillin took out some oatmeal cookies. Cell, Bulma, Chi Chi and Lunch took out brownies. Ms. Applebee took out a cup of fruit. She watched as Vegeta and Goku ate everything.  
  
'Great I have kids with bottomless stomachs.'  
  
She got a spork (A/N: Sporks rule the universe!) and began to eat. Soon everyone finished eating.  
  
"When you're done, you can go play."  
  
Chi Chi, Bulma and Lunch walked over to Piccolo.  
  
"Do you want to play with us? We won't make you marry anyone."  
  
Piccolo shrugged and followed them.  
  
***  
  
Cell, Goku, Vegeta, Frieza, Zarbon, Dodoira and Krillin we having a fighting contest.  
  
"Ok, Kakarotto and I will fight in the first round. The winner fights Zarbon and so on."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
Vegeta and Goku got into fighting stance. Cell rang a bell and they started fighting.  
  
***  
  
Piccolo was regretting his decision. Bulma and Chi Chi just finished with Piccolo's makeup and Lunch was finding an outfit.  
  
"I wonder if there are any wigs."  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi went over to Lunch to look for a wig. Piccolo tried to break free from the rope.  
  
'Damn, I should have said no.'  
  
***  
  
Ms. Applebee watched in horror as half the classroom was blown up by Vegeta and Goku. She looked for more Tylenol, but there was none left.  
  
"NO!!"  
  
She took the spork she was using to eat with and repeatedly stabbed herself.  
  
***  
  
A blast went flying toward Piccolo. He stood up and the blast broke the ropes.  
  
"I'M FREE!"  
  
Piccolo ran over to the other side of the classroom.  
  
"This looks good."  
  
Bulma, Chi Chi and Lunch walked back and saw the ropes on fire.  
  
"Where'd he go?"  
  
***  
  
"Ha take that Kakarotto!"  
  
Goku and Vegeta were fighting to the death. Ms. Applebee was still trying to break her skin with the spork.  
  
"Crazy kids! Must die. Can't teach anymore. Never again will I step foot in a classroom. Kids are killing each other. They are blowing up the classroom. No…more…TLYENOL!"  
  
The bell rang and Ms. Applebee ran out of the classroom. Everyone stopped what they were doing, got their stuff and left.  
  
"You got lucky Kakarotto."  
  
***  
  
There goes Ms. Applebee. I wonder who their next teacher will be? Did you like it? Please review! Thanks!! *gives thumbs up* 


	3. Chapter 3

Yea! It's chapter 3! Thanks for all the reviews! You guys rock! Hope you like this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: Oh no! Cell: What? Me: I didn't think of anything funny to put in the disclaimer. Cell: It's not that bad. Me: *sniffle* But I always have funny disclaimers! Cell: How about this *slips on banana peel on floor* Is that good? Me: hehe no but thanks for trying. I don't own DBZ.  
  
***  
  
Cell, Vegeta and Frieza were betting on how long this teacher would last. Cell bet 1 day, Vegeta bet 2 days and Frieza bet 3 days. Everyone else was sitting quietly. The door opens and a young man walks in.  
  
"Hello everyone! My name is Mr. Smith!" (A/N: That's the name of my gym teacher.)  
  
Bulma, Chi Chi and Lunch giggle.  
  
"He's cute!"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Not as cute as Goku."  
  
Mr. Smith walks to the desk and picks up the attendance sheet.  
  
"Ok when I call your name say here. Cell?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Bulma?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Chi Chi?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Vegeta?"  
  
"That's Prince Vegeta and I'm here."  
  
"Uh ok. Hmm…why are 18 and 17 crossed off? Did they move?"  
  
"No I absorbed them."  
  
Mr. Smith looked at Cell.  
  
"Absorbed them?"  
  
"Did I stutter?"  
  
"Eh no sorry. Umm…Piccolo?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Frieza?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Zarbon?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Krillin?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Great everyone's here! Ok lets start with a spelling. I'll pick 2 people to go to the board and I'll say a word. You both have to write the word and we'll see who spells it correctly."  
  
Everyone nodded their heads.  
  
"Ok let's have Goku and Cell come up."  
  
Cell and Goku walked to the board and picked up a piece of chalk.  
  
"Ready? Ok your word is cookie."  
  
Cell began to write.  
  
'C O O K I E. That sounds right'  
  
Goku began to drool.  
  
'Mmm…cookie.'  
  
"Goku do you know how to spell cookie?"  
  
"Huh? Oops sorry."  
  
Goku began writing.  
  
'C…no it's a K O O K Y?'  
  
Goku wrote that on the board.  
  
"Ok time's up. Let's see…nice try Goku but cookie is spelt C O O K I E. Perfect Cell."  
  
"Of course. Perfection would only be expected by a perfect being."  
  
"Umm…right."  
  
'What the hell is this kid talking about.'  
  
***  
  
It was time for snack time.  
  
"Ok everyone take out your snacks."  
  
Goku and Vegeta had the usual 5 tables and everyone else had cookies. Mr. Smith watched in amazement as Goku and Vegeta finished all 5 tables.  
  
'Damn these kids are strange.'  
  
Mr. Smith remembered the note the last teacher gave him. It said bring lots of aspirin. He opened the desk drawer and pulled out some Tylenol. (A/N: Tylenol, the aspirin for teachers) He popped some into his mouth. Frieza walked around the room looking for an apple.  
  
"Does anyone have an apple?"  
  
"Here."  
  
Chi Chi handed Frieza an apple. Bulma and Lunch stared at the new teacher.  
  
"It's a shame that he's going to quit like the last teacher."  
  
"Yeah, he's so cute."  
  
Bulma and Lunch walked over to Mr. Smith.  
  
"Hi! What are you doing."  
  
"Oh hi. I'm trying to figure out this problem for my little brother."  
  
"Let me see."  
  
"Ok but he's in 10th grade. I don't think you'll understand it."  
  
Bulma took the paper and pencil and began writing. In seconds she was done.  
  
"There. That was easy."  
  
Mr. Smith stared at the paper.  
  
'Holy shit that's right!'  
  
He looked at the smiling Bulma.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Bulma and Lunch walked away. Mr. Smith took some more Tylenol.  
  
'This is going to be a long day.'  
  
***  
  
It was playtime and Vegeta and Cell were fighting over who was better.  
  
"I'm better because I'm a prince!"  
  
"I'm better because I'm perfect!"  
  
"You suck!"  
  
"You suck!"  
  
***  
  
Goku was so hungry that he tried eating the plastic food in the kitchen center.  
  
"Eww this tastes like plastic!"  
  
"That's because it is plastic monkey boy!"  
  
Goku looked at the plastic scrambled eggs he was holding, shrugged and ate the rest.  
  
***  
  
"I'm better because I'm stronger!"  
  
"I'm better because I'm the strongest!"  
  
"I'm better!"  
  
"I'm the best!"  
  
"Grr…"  
  
***  
  
Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria were perfecting their plans to take over the classroom.  
  
"Ok, we tie up the teacher and put him in the corner."  
  
"Good idea."  
  
Zarbon and Frieza walk over to the teacher.  
  
"Can you teach us how to tie our shoes?"  
  
Mr. Smith looked down.  
  
"You don't have shoes."  
  
Dodoria tied a rope around Mr. Smith and stuck the apple that Frieza got from Chi Chi in his mouth.  
  
"Muahahahaha!"  
  
***  
  
Piccolo was meditating in the corner. Goku walked over with a plate full of plastic food.  
  
"Hey Piccolo! Want some food?"  
  
Piccolo opened an eye and shook his head.  
  
"Goku you do know that's plastic right?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Then why are you eating it?"  
  
"Because it's the closest thing to food.  
  
***  
  
Frieza and Zarbon dragged Mr. Smith over to Cell and Vegeta.  
  
"I'm better so give it up already!"  
  
"Vegeta it's so obvious I'm better."  
  
"I'm better!"  
  
"If we were to ask everyone in this room who was better, they would all say me."  
  
"No they wouldn't they'd say me!"  
  
"ME!"  
  
***  
  
"Hey Chi Chi, let's play dress up with Mr. Smith!"  
  
"Yeah! Wanna come Lunch?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
They walked past Vegeta and Cell, over to Mr. Smith.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
Mr. Smith was trying to tell them to untie him.  
  
"Huh? I can't understand you. Oh well we're gonna play dress up with you, ok?"  
  
"MMM!"  
  
"I think that's a yes."  
  
"MMMM!"  
  
Mr. Smith shook his head, but they had already left.  
  
'Fuck! Now I know why the last one quit.'  
  
"I'm better!"  
  
"I am!"  
  
***  
  
"You know what I've always wanted Zarbon?"  
  
"To rule the universe?"  
  
"Besides that."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"A floating chair."  
  
"A floating chair?"  
  
"Yes. In fact I want one right now."  
  
"But Lord Frieza where am I supposed to get one?"  
  
"Make one!"  
  
Zarbon ran over to Dodoria.  
  
"Lord Frieza wants a floating chair."  
  
"A floating chair?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Where are we supposed to get one?"  
  
"I guess well have to carry it."  
  
Zarbon and Dodoria grab a chair and give it to Frieza.  
  
"It's not floating."  
  
Zarbon and Dodoria pick up the chair.  
  
"That's better."  
  
Frieza jumps on top of it.  
  
"Ohh…"  
  
Dodoria turns to Zarbon.  
  
"I think Lord Frieza needs to lay off the Twinkies."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
***  
  
Mr. Smith managed to hop away and get the rope off.  
  
"If I hear who's better one more time I'll…"  
  
"I'm better!"  
  
"I'M BETTER TIMES 57819715871408519307869176189679804"  
  
Mr. Smith felt something inside snap.  
  
'Now I know why the note said bring something sharp.'  
  
The sharpest thing he could find was safety scissors. He tried to cut himself with the scissors.  
  
'Fucking safety scissors can't cut for crap!'  
  
***  
  
Krillin was asleep on the floor. He was sleeping the whole time and no one noticed. Goku walked over to Krillin.  
  
"Krillin?"  
  
"…"  
  
"KRILLIN!"  
  
Krillin jumped up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What's this?"  
  
Goku took out a bottle of Tylenol.  
  
"I think that's stuff you take when your head hurts."  
  
"Oh. Can you eat it?"  
  
"Yes but…"  
  
Goku ate what was left of the pills.  
  
***  
  
Mr. Smith was looking for his Tylenol.  
  
"WHERE IS IT!"  
  
He threw everything out of the way.  
  
"IT'S GONE! NO!!"  
  
Everyone looked at Mr. Smith. He ran out of the classroom screaming.  
  
"Looks like I won the bet. I'll be expecting my brownies tomorrow."  
  
The bell rang. Everyone walked out the door except Goku who was wobbling.  
  
"I feel so dizzy. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all those pills…"  
  
***  
  
Woot! Crazy kids, huh? Did you like it? Please review! Thanks! *gives thumbs up* C ya next time! 


	4. Chapter 4

*sniffle* Sorry guys! I've been getting lazy with my updates! So very sorry! To make up for my lack of updates I'll make this action packed. Eh…I'll try to. Thanks for all the reviews! ^_^ Hope you like this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: Is this really necessary? Cell: Yes. Me: Why? Cell: Because you could get sued. Me: Oh…ok…I don't own DBZ.  
  
***  
  
The class chattered while waiting for the new teacher to come in. Cell walked over to Frieza and Vegeta.  
  
"I believe you 2 owe me some brownies."  
  
Vegeta grumbled and handed Cell 2 brownies.  
  
"Good. Frieza?"  
  
Frieza sighed and gave Cell his 2 brownies. Cell smiled.  
  
"Good! Shall we make another bet?"  
  
"Sure why not."  
  
"What are we betting?"  
  
"Hmm…how about cookies."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Cell got a piece of paper.  
  
"All right. I think this one will last…3 days. Frieza?"  
  
"I give them 1 day."  
  
"Ok…Vegeta?"  
  
"2 days."  
  
"Ok. The losers give the winner 3 chocolate chip cookies."  
  
"Deal!"  
  
They all shook on it.  
  
***  
  
Zarbon was twirling his hair. Dodoria walked over.  
  
"Hi Zarbon."  
  
"Eh hi."  
  
"What's your problem?"  
  
"Well…all these teachers have been boring. I didn't like either of them."  
  
"Oh? I thought you weren't supposed to like teacher?"  
  
Zarbon shrugged.  
  
***  
  
Bulma, Chi Chi and Lunch were talking about who they liked.  
  
"I think Zarbon is so cute!"  
  
Bulma nodded her head.  
  
"I think Goku is…no wait I know Goku is the cutest."  
  
Bulma and Lunch looked at each other.  
  
"I think that Prince Vegeta kid is cute."  
  
Lunch blinked at Bulma.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Bulma you're kidding right?"  
  
"No…"  
  
"Bulma he'd rip your head off. Besides he's not good enough for you."  
  
"I don't care. He's cute!"  
  
***  
  
A young woman walked in the door. She had long blonde hair and clear blue eyes. Zarbon's pupil now had hearts in them. Dodoria waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
"Zarbon? Earth to Zarbon."  
  
"She's so…so…beautiful…"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
The new teacher smiled at everyone.  
  
"Hello! My name is Ms. Machnik." (A/N: She was my 6th grade teacher)  
  
Zarbon just stared in awe. Everyone smiled at her.  
  
"Aww you guys are so cute! I can't believe those other 2 teachers quit."  
  
She walked over to her desk and picked up the attendance sheet.  
  
"Ok. I'm going to take attendance now. Cell?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Bulma?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Chi Chi?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Veg…erm…Prince Vegeta?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Hmm…ok they're crossed off…Piccolo?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Frieza?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Zarbon?"  
  
"…here…"  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Krillin?"  
  
No one answered.  
  
"Does anyone know where Krillin is?"  
  
Goku raised his hand.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Um…Krillin gave me this note to read when you called his name, but I can't read."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Ms. Machnik walked over to Goku. She picked up the note and read it.  
  
"Dear whoever,  
  
I am no longer coming to school because no one pays attention to me! The author always forgets I'm in this story!  
  
Love Krillin." (A/N: Sorry Krillin! I always forget about him)  
  
"Ok…well then shall we get started?"  
  
Everyone nodded their heads.  
  
"Good. Ok…your going to take a spelling test. Don't worry it's really easy. I know you'll do a good job because you're all smart kids. I need a volunteer to hand out the paper."  
  
Zarbon jumped up.  
  
"Oh! I will!"  
  
Ms. Machnik smiled.  
  
"Thank you Zarbon."  
  
Zarbon blushed. He got up and passed out a sheet of paper to everyone.  
  
"Does everyone have paper? Good! Now take out a pencil and let's begin. The first word is cat."  
  
A couple minutes later…  
  
"Ok. Who would like to collect the papers?"  
  
Zarbon's hand shot up. Ms. Machnik smiled.  
  
"Ok Zarbon."  
  
He collected the papers and handed them to Ms. Machnik.  
  
"Here."  
  
"Thank you Zarbon. You're very helpful."  
  
Zarbon smiled and returned to his seat.  
  
"Zarbon what's wrong with you!"  
  
"Huh? What do you mean Lord Frieza?"  
  
"Don't tell me you've developed feelings for a human?"  
  
"Well…uh…"  
  
"Especially a teacher. She is our enemy!"  
  
"Sorry Lord Frieza."  
  
Ms. Machnik stood up.  
  
"Ok while I check your papers, you guys can have your snacks."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Goku ran over to his cubby and took out his capsule. Vegeta also got his. Everyone else took out cookies and Cell ate his 4 brownies. Ms. Machnik looked up to make sure everything was ok. She looked around and saw Goku and Vegeta eating the 5 tables.  
  
'Is that normal?'  
  
She picked up her pen and began to check the papers.  
  
***  
  
'I just can't stop staring at her. She's so pretty.'  
  
"What do you think Zarbon?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Were you listening to anything I was saying?"  
  
"Um…no…"  
  
"Ugh! What were you looking at! It wasn't Ms. Machnik…"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Ah ha so it was!"  
  
"Yes…I mean no!"  
  
"Zarbon! What's wrong with you?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
***  
  
Ms. Machnik finished with Cell's perfect paper. She picked up the next paper, which was Zarbon's.  
  
'What the…'  
  
I love Ms. Machnik was written all over Zarbon's paper.  
  
'Freaky.'  
  
She picked up her pen, but it slipped out of her hand. Zarbon saw this out of the corner of his eye. He dove and caught the pen.  
  
"Here you go Ms. Machnik!"  
  
"Uh thanks."  
  
'This kid is really freaking me out!'  
  
Finally she finished grading the papers. She handed them back. Frieza looked at his and screamed.  
  
"What!"  
  
"What's wrong Frieza?"  
  
Ms. Machnik ran over to him.  
  
"I got a 95!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I demand to know why!"  
  
"You spelled cat with a k."  
  
"I did no such thing! I want a 100 written on this paper or I'll kill you!"  
  
Ms. Machnik was getting nervous.  
  
"Uh…well…it wouldn't be fair to the other children."  
  
"Gr…"  
  
Frieza formed a ki blast in his hand. Zarbon's eyes widened.  
  
"Lord Frieza no!"  
  
He tackled Frieza.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing!"  
  
"You can't kill her!"  
  
"Why not!"  
  
"Because…because…I love her!"  
  
The class gasped. Vegeta smirked.  
  
"What! Love is a weakness!"  
  
"I don't care! I won't let you!"  
  
Zarbon tightened his grip on Frieza.  
  
"Let me go you fool!"  
  
They began rolling around on the floor. The rolling soon turned into fighting.  
  
"Oh my."  
  
All the boys ran over to get a closer look. The girls winced every time a punch connected. Ms. Machnik ran to her desk.  
  
'Thank God those other 2 teachers warned me.'  
  
She took out a bottle of Tylenol. Goku saw this and walked over to her.  
  
"Can I have some."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It taste yummy and I'm hungry."  
  
"You're not supposed to eat these."  
  
"I ate a whole bottle yesterday."  
  
"I'm sorry but I'll get in trouble if I let you have some."  
  
Goku's eyes began to water. She took out a bottle of water and shoved 2 pills in her mouth.  
  
"Gr…"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Give…me…the…TYLENOL!"  
  
He tackled Ms. Machnik and began his assault. Zarbon threw Frieza off him and grabbed Goku.  
  
"Stop!"  
  
"NO! I WANT THE PILLS!"  
  
"I'm not finished with you Zarbon!"  
  
Frieza jumped in and a brawl started. Soon everyone was fighting even the girls. Vegeta and Cell broke away and began their own fight. Goku finally got a hold of the pill. However the bottle had broken during the fight and the pills spilt everywhere.  
  
"NO! My precious pills! NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "  
  
Goku's screams broke the windows. Everyone stopped and looked at him.  
  
"What's wrong with Kakarotto?"  
  
Goku's hair turned gold.  
  
"Fucking shit! Kakarotto became a super saiyan! No fair!"  
  
"GET AWAY FROM THE PILLS!"  
  
Everyone backed off.  
  
"Are you ok? My poor pills!"  
  
Goku jumped on the ground and started eating the pill off the floor. Cell just blinked.  
  
"I think he's gone mad."  
  
The bell rang and everyone ran out of the classroom. Goku finished eating the pills and left. Ms. Machnik moaned and tried to move.  
  
"Ow…"  
  
***  
  
Heh…did you like it? Please review! *gives thumbs up* Thanks! 


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! I'm back! Heh…thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the greatest! w00t! Hope you like this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: *is busy listening to Korn and doesn't notice it's time to say the disclaimer* Cell: *waves hand in front of my face* Me: *lips the words to the song* Cell: hehehe…Jessica doesn't own DBZ or Tylenol.  
  
***  
  
Goku walked into the classroom holding a bottle of Tylenol. Vegeta ran up to him.  
  
"Hi Vegeta!"  
  
"How did you do it?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Turn super saiyan you baka!"  
  
"Super what?"  
  
"Super Saiyan!"  
  
"What's a saiyan?"  
  
Vegeta fell over.  
  
"What do you mean what's a saiyan! You're a saiyan! That's why you have a tail!"  
  
"Oh…I don't remember."  
  
"Gr…just wait til I'm a super saiyan Kakarotto!"  
  
Vegeta walked over to Cell and Frieza.  
  
"Bye Vegeta!"  
  
Cell took out his paper.  
  
"Looks like Frieza's out of the bet. It's just me and Vegeta."  
  
"Damn!"  
  
Vegeta smirked. Cell put the paper away.  
  
"I'll be looking forward to my cookies."  
  
"What make you think you're going to win Cell?"  
  
"I don't think I'm going to win…I know I'm going to win."  
  
"Well we'll just see about that."  
  
***  
  
Bulma was staring at Vegeta.  
  
"So you really like him?"  
  
"Uh huh…"  
  
"Well maybe you should talk to him. Maybe we can get him to play with us."  
  
"Maybe…"  
  
"I don't think so Lunch. Vegeta's mean, not like Goku…Goku's so nice!"  
  
Bulma slammed her fists on the desk.  
  
"No one cares about Goku! He's only nice because he's so stupid he doesn't know what mean is!"  
  
Chi Chi glared at Bulma.  
  
"Goku is the best!"  
  
"Vegeta!"  
  
"GOKU!"  
  
"VEGETA!"  
  
"Vegeta is a spoiled brat!"  
  
"Goku is a stupid Tylenol junkie!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Vegeta would never like you because you're ugly!"  
  
"AM NOT! Take that back!"  
  
"No! Make me!"  
  
"I'll make you all right!"  
  
Bulma jumped on Chi Chi and started pulling her hair. (A/N: *makes random cat noises*)  
  
Piccolo looked over and saw them fighting.  
  
"CAT FIGHT!"  
  
All the boys ran over and watched.  
  
"I wonder what they're fighting about."  
  
Chi Chi slapped Bulma's face.  
  
"BITCH!"  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi started rolling around the classroom pulling each other's hair.  
  
"Vegeta is the best!"  
  
"GOKU!"  
  
Ms. Machnik limped into the room. She saw Bulma and Chi Chi fighting.  
  
"OK! Let's break it up!"  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi got up off the floor and dusted themselves off. They both glared at each other and walked back to their seats. Everyone else returned to their seats. Ms. Machnik limped over to her desk. Zarbon wanted to cry.  
  
'Her poor beautiful face. I'll get that Goku!'  
  
"Ok. Because it kind of hurts to talk I'm just going to count heads to see if everyone's here."  
  
'1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10…everyone's here.'  
  
"Everyone's here. Ok…it's nap time!"  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"It's nap time."  
  
"Listen woman we're not little kids!"  
  
"But your 5!"  
  
"So what!"  
  
"GO TO SLEEP OR NO SNACK TIME!"  
  
Goku screamed.  
  
"Everyone go to sleep! Please!"  
  
Everyone sighed and put their heads down on the desks. Cell raised his hand.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Uh androids don't sleep."  
  
"Pretend to sleep."  
  
"Uh…ok…"  
  
'These kids are giving me a headache already.'  
  
She opened her desk drawer.  
  
'Shit! I forgot the Tylenol.'  
  
Ms. Machnik looked around the room and spotted a bottle of Tylenol on Goku's desk.  
  
'Ah ah! Oh fuck! It's that kid that beat me up yesterday.'  
  
She tiptoed over to Goku's desk. Unfortunately she didn't know about saiyans and their good hearing. She was about to grab the bottle when something furry wrapped around her arm.  
  
'Uh oh!'  
  
"Ms. Machnik what were you doing?"  
  
"Um nothing."  
  
"How come you're looking at my Tylenol?"  
  
"Listen kid…I just need 2 pills."  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on! Just 2 little pills."  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Do you want me to call your parents and tell them your being bad?"  
  
"I don't have parents."  
  
"Oh…give me the fucking Tylenol!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Ms. Machnik grabbed it with her other hand and shoved 2 in her mouth.  
  
"NO! Spit it out! Spit it out!"  
  
"Hehe…"  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Goku's hair turned gold again.  
  
"Oh shit!"  
  
Everyone was watching what was happening. Ms. Machnik spit the pills out and backed away.  
  
"Heh…"  
  
Goku glared at her. Zarbon kept his eye on Goku.  
  
'He better not touch her!'  
  
Ms. Machnik was afraid he'd attack her again.  
  
'What would make him forget?'  
  
"Snack time!"  
  
"Yummy!"  
  
Goku's hair turned back to normal and he ran to his cubby.  
  
"FOOD!"  
  
"…"  
  
Everyone just stared at Goku. Piccolo scratched his head.  
  
"Goku sure is strange."  
  
***  
  
Zarbon and Dodoria took out their Twinkies. (A/N: I don't own those either.)  
  
"I sure am hungry!"  
  
"Me too!"  
  
Frieza smirked.  
  
"Mmm…I'm still hungry."  
  
Dodoria and Zarbon looked at each other and then their Twinkies. They both sighed.  
  
"Here Lord Frieza."  
  
"Oh thank you!"  
  
'Heh…suckers!'  
  
***  
  
Vegeta finished his snack. He was now talking to Cell.  
  
"Goku sure has been acting strange. Do you think he's addicted?"  
  
"I think so…so you said you learned at new technique?"  
  
Cell smiled.  
  
"Yep."  
  
Bulma walked over to Vegeta and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Uh hi?"  
  
Bulma smiled at him. Vegeta looked at Bulma.  
  
'She's pretty…what the fuck am I thinking!'  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I wanted to know if you wanted to play with me?"  
  
"The saiyan prince doesn't play."  
  
"Oh…"  
  
Cell smirked.  
  
'That girl must like Vegeta.'  
  
Cell stood up.  
  
"I'll leave you too alone."  
  
Vegeta glared at Cell. Bulma smiled at him.  
  
'He's cute too!'  
  
"Erm…so uh…go away woman!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I don't like you!"  
  
Bulma made a sad face.  
  
'Oh great…'  
  
"Uh I'm…s-sorry."  
  
'Damnit!'  
  
Bulma jumped in Vegeta's lap and hugged him.  
  
"YAY!"  
  
Vegeta started to blush.  
  
"Get off me woman!"  
  
"Why do you call me woman? I'm only 5 and my name's Bulma."  
  
"I don't know…get off!"  
  
"No! Hehe!"  
  
"Gr…"  
  
Everyone was looking at Vegeta and Bulma.  
  
***  
  
Ms. Machnik coughed and winced as pain shot through her body. Zarbon ran over to her.  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
"Uh yeah I'm fine. You can go play now."  
  
"No! I'm not leaving your side! I must protect you! Everyone's after you…you're the enemy."  
  
"The enemy?"  
  
"Uh huh! But don't worry I'm super strong and very good at fighting. I'll keep you safe!"  
  
"…"  
  
'Oh God please kill me now!'  
  
***  
  
Piccolo walked by Bulma and Vegeta.  
  
"Is that your new girlfriend Vegeta?"  
  
Vegeta blushed.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Why are you blushing Vegeta?"  
  
"Gr…shut up Namek! I'll make you pay as soon as she gets off me!"  
  
"Hahahaha!"  
  
Piccolo walked away.  
  
"You're so cute Veggie!"  
  
"Cute! Veggie! Do you have a death wish girl!"  
  
"Hehe! You're so silly!"  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi walked over to Goku.  
  
"Hi Goku!"  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Petting my pills."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Chi Chi watched as Goku stroked the Tylenol bottle.  
  
***  
  
Piccolo was meditating in a corner. Lunch walked over and sat in front of him. Piccolo opened his eyes.  
  
"Uh hi."  
  
"Hi!"  
  
Lunch smiled at Piccolo.  
  
"Your cute!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Piccolo was a little freaked out now.  
  
"Uh you don't want to get to close to me."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I have um…cooties!"  
  
"Silly!"  
  
"Stay away…you don't want to catch them!"  
  
Piccolo stood up and ran. Lunch followed after him.  
  
***  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Yes Lord Frieza?"  
  
"I want a castle."  
  
"Ok…"  
  
"I want it now!"  
  
"But where I am supposed to get one?"  
  
"Build it out of blocks!"  
  
"What!"  
  
"Are you questioning me?"  
  
"Uh no Lord Frieza!"  
  
Dodoria ran off and started building a castle out of wooden blocks.  
  
***  
  
Ms. Machnik stared at Zarbon.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to play?"  
  
"Yes! I must protect you!"  
  
'What I wouldn't give for some Tylenol.'  
  
She saw Lunch chasing Piccolo.  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
Lunch stopped.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Please leave Piccolo alone."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't think he likes being chased."  
  
"Oh ok…"  
  
Lunch felt like she was going to sneeze. She wrinkled her nose.'  
  
"Ah…ah…ah chou!"  
  
Ms. Ma chnik blinked.  
  
'How did she do that?'  
  
Lunch took out a machine gun.  
  
'She has a gun! Yes!'  
  
"Shoot me!"  
  
Zarbon saw Lunch with a gun.  
  
'Oh no!'  
  
"Ok!"  
  
Lunch pulled the trigger.  
  
'Yes! I'm gonna die!'  
  
Zarbon screamed.  
  
"NO!"  
  
He jumped and caught the bullet.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Ms. Machnik screamed.  
  
"But I wanted to die! AH!"  
  
She screamed and ran out of the classroom.  
  
"Ms. Machnik wait!"  
  
Zarbon ran after her. The bell rang. Vegeta pushed Bulma off and walked to Frieza and Cell.  
  
"Looks like I won!" (A/N: ^_^ Are you happy Seastorm?)  
  
Everyone got their stuff and left.  
  
***  
  
Aw…looks like Vegeta won the bet! Did you like it? Please review! *gives thumbs up* Thanks! 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey! I was going to put this up yesterday, but it was my birthday and I didn't feel like it ^_^. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Oh and thanks for the reviews!  
  
Disclaimer: Cell: *looks around* Jess? Jessica! Where are you? *shrugs* Oh well. Me: *runs in screaming wearing a scream mask* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! Cell: Was that supposed to scare me? Me: *takes mask off* You're no fun! *cries and runs away* Cell: Eh? Jess doesn't own DBZ or Tylenol.  
  
***  
  
Everyone was sitting in their desks. Vegeta was eating the cookies he won. The door opened and in walked Goku. He was holding a velvet pillow and a gold bottle of Tylenol was lying on it. Piccolo sighed.  
  
'That kid is absolutely nuts.'  
  
Bulma, Lunch and Chi Chi started at all the guys.  
  
"He's so dreamy."  
  
"He's so cute."  
  
"He's so.what the hell!"  
  
"Huh? What's wrong Chi Chi?"  
  
"Goku has a gold Tylenol bottle!"  
  
"Heh.looks like you have some competition."  
  
"Grr."  
  
The door opens and a man tiredly walks in. He yawns and sits down.  
  
"Hello.my name is Mr. Davis. Goodnight."  
  
Mr. Davis lays his head on his desk.  
  
"Um.aren't you going to take attendance?"  
  
"I'm really tired so do whatever you want."  
  
The class looks at each other and cheers.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Woohoo!"  
  
"All right!"  
  
Piccolo chose to meditate in the corner of the room, away from Lunch. Bulma walks over to Vegeta.  
  
"Hiya Vegeta!"  
  
"Gr.go away! I don't like you!"  
  
'Hmm.I need to make Vegeta jealous.'  
  
Bulma looked around the room and spotted Cell.  
  
'Vegeta's always fighting with him.hmm.'  
  
Bulma smiled evilly.  
  
"Ok fine Vegeta."  
  
Vegeta started as Bulma walked away.  
  
"Huh? She didn't fight back. Weird."  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi walked over to Goku.  
  
"Hi Goku."  
  
"You're not Tylenol so I'm not talking to you."  
  
"What? Erm.well.I like Tylenol."  
  
"You do! Really?"  
  
"Uh yeah."  
  
"Wow cool! I named mine! Wanna see them?"  
  
'Oh well at least he's talking.'  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Yay! This is Mr. Pill, this is Howard, this one is Bob."  
  
***  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Yes Lord Frieza?"  
  
"Do you remember what I asked you to do yesterday?"  
  
"Um.give you a massage?"  
  
"Uh besides that."  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"I asked you to build me a castle out of blocks."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Well."  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"I DON'T SEE A CASTLE!"  
  
"Huh? Oh right!"  
  
Dodoria runs off to build Frieza a castle.  
  
***  
  
Lunch walked over to Piccolo.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
".meditating."  
  
"Oh.ok.bye."  
  
Lunch sighed and walked over to Zarbon. Zarbon was crying and drawing pictures of Ms. Machnik.  
  
"Hi Zarbon."  
  
"Hmm? Oh hi."  
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
"Because.because.I miss Ms. Machnik!"  
  
"Aww."  
  
***  
  
Cell sees Bulma walking toward him.  
  
'I wonder what she wants.'  
  
"Hi Cell."  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Umm.can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Depends. What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Can you play with me."  
  
"No."  
  
"But I need you to so I can make Vegeta jealous."  
  
"Make Vegeta jealous you say?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Well then why didn't you say so. All I need in return are 5 chocolate chip cookies."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"I'll expect them first thing tomorrow. If I don't get them then you must become my slave and worship me."  
  
"Uh ok."  
  
"Good. Now let's go."  
  
***  
  
Vegeta was sitting wondering why Bulma didn't fight back.  
  
'I know she's a fiery one. Why didn't she do anything? Women are so confusing.'  
  
He looks up and sees Bulma and Cell walking by.  
  
'Why the fuck is she playing with him?'  
  
"Hello there Vegeta."  
  
"Hiya Veggie!"  
  
"Woman! Why are you playing with Cell for!"  
  
"Oh? Why do you care if she plays with me Vegeta?"  
  
"Er.well."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"She's mine! I saw her first and she's playing with me!"  
  
Vegeta grabs Bulma's wrist.  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
Bulma smiled and gave Cell a thumbs up. Cell smiled back.  
  
'Hmm.I wonder if she'll forget the cookies. I always wanted a slave.'  
  
***  
  
"And this one right here is Mike."  
  
Chi Chi was bored out of her mind.  
  
'How many freaking pills does he have!'  
  
"And this one's name is John Smith."  
  
"Don't you want to play or something?"  
  
"No. Hey Chi Chi?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Um.I think it's uh.I can't tell time."  
  
"Oh well I'll have to ask the teacher."  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
***  
  
"Lord Frieza I finished building your castle!"  
  
"Good. Let's go."  
  
"Ok!"  
  
Dodoria was about to run off when Frieza coughed.  
  
"Yes my Lord?"  
  
"Aren't you forgetting something?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
Dodoria sighed and picked up Frieza's chair.  
  
'I can't believe I have to carry him all by myself. He weights a ton.'  
  
Dodoria set Frieza down in front of the castle.  
  
"This is it?"  
  
"Uh huh! Do you like it?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I can barely fit my foot in there! When I asked you to build me a castle I meant build one that I can fit in!"  
  
"Sorry Lord Frieza."  
  
***  
  
"So Veggie.do you want to play house?"  
  
'If I say no, she'll play with Cell again.'  
  
"Uh.sure."  
  
"Yea! Ok! Let's go ask Lunch and Zarbon if they want to play!"  
  
"Gr.fine."  
  
Bulma skipped over to Lunch and Zarbon.  
  
"Hey guys!"  
  
".hi."  
  
"Hi Bulma!"  
  
"What's wrong Zarbon?"  
  
".*sniff*."  
  
"Oh he misses Ms. Machnik."  
  
"Aw. Well me and Vegeta are going to play house. Do you guys want to play?"  
  
"Ok!"  
  
".I guess I'll play."  
  
"Ok! Come on!"  
  
***  
  
Goku walked up to Mr. Davis who was sleeping.  
  
"Um.Mr. Davis?"  
  
".*snore*."  
  
"MR. DAVIS!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Mr. Davis jumped up.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"Er.can you tell me what time it is?"  
  
"Ugh! Fine.its 2:30."  
  
"Oh no!"  
  
Goku ran over to his pills. Chi Chi ran after him. Mr. Davis went back to sleep.  
  
"Goku what's wrong?"  
  
"Everyday at 12:00 I worship my pills!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
Goku got on his hands and knees.  
  
"Please forgive me! I'm so sorry. I was too busy naming my pills to my friend Chi Chi. She likes you too. So please forgive both of us and when we die let us both come to the pill heaven!"  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
***  
  
"Ok. I'll be the mommy. Vegeta can be the daddy. Zarbon can be our son and Lunch can be our daughter."  
  
"Ok!"  
  
".ok."  
  
'I can't believe I'm playing this.'  
  
"Vegeta? Is this ok with you?"  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
"Ok! Vegeta you're a doctor."  
  
"I don't want to be a doctor! I want to be a fighter!"  
  
"A fighter is not a job! They don't make money!"  
  
"I can make money if I fight in tournaments!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Well they sure fight like they're married."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"No times 445,894,280,968,095!"  
  
"Yes times 547,982,895,098,508,962,790!"  
  
Piccolo was trying his best to meditate over the screaming.  
  
'Ugh! Will they shut up!'  
  
Piccolo walked over to Bulma and Vegeta.  
  
"Will you two shut the fuck up! I'm trying to meditate!"  
  
"I'm not shutting up until Vegeta agrees that he's a doctor!"  
  
"I'm not shutting up until the woman agrees I'm a fighter!"  
  
"Stop calling me woman!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
The bell rang. Everyone left except Goku who was still worshiping the Tylenol.  
  
"I'm not worthy. I am not worthy!"  
  
***  
  
Ok.I was wondering if I should make Bulma forget the cookies or not. Tell me in your reviews! Thanks! *gives thumbs up* 


	7. Chapter 7

w00t! Wee! Hehe...I'm hyper! Erm...thanks for all the reviews!! I had a feeling everyone wanted Bulma to forget the cookies. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Whoever said the thing about Hercule (I'm not online so I dunno who said it) I'll have him come in the next chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Me: I don't own DBZ or Tylenol. Goku: *appears* I'm hungry! Cell: Goku!? Why are you here? Goku: I'm hungry. Me: Go away Kakarotto! We have no food for you! Goku: *eats my disclaimer* Yum! Me: *cries* WAH! My disclaimer! I worked so hard on that! Cell: -_-() Goku: Oops.sorry!  
  
***  
  
Bulma walked in the classroom holding her 5 cookies.  
  
'Thank Kami I remembered! I definitely wouldn't want to be Cell's slave...although he is kinda cute.'  
  
Bulma placed the cookies on her desk. Lunch walked over.  
  
"Hiya Bulma!"  
  
"Hey! You got your hair cut!"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"It looks cute!"  
  
While Bulma and Lunch were talking Frieza, Dodoria and Zarbon walked over to Bulma's desk.  
  
"What are we doing again Lord Frieza?"  
  
"Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you Dodoria! We're eating those delicious cookies!"  
  
"Oh...I knew that."  
  
Frieza took the 5 cookies. He handed one to Zarbon, one to Dodoria and gave himself the remaining 3.  
  
"Um...Lord Frieza?"  
  
"Yes Zarbon?"  
  
"How come we got 1 cookie and you got 3?"  
  
"Because I am the strongest!"  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Now eat up. We have lots of jokes to play on people today!"  
  
"Ok!"  
  
***  
  
Goku placed his Tylenol in an empty desk.  
  
"I hope you're comfortable. I wonder if Mr. Davis will come back. He was nice, but he slept a lot."  
  
Chi Chi walked over to Goku. She was wearing a shirt that said 'Tylenol rules!'.  
  
'I hope Goku will talk to me and agree to marry me. I'm glad I know how to sow.'  
  
Goku saw Chi Chi's shirt.  
  
"Wow! I like your shirt!"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"It's so true!"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Um...do you want to sit with me?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
'Yes! It's working!'  
  
***  
  
Cell walked over to Bulma. Bulma told Lunch to save her a seat and Lunch walked away.  
  
"Do you have my cookies? Or are you going to be my slave?"  
  
"I have your cookies. They're right on my desk."  
  
Cell looked at Bulma's desk.  
  
"Oh? Are you sure about that?"  
  
"Uh huh! I just put them there a few minutes ago. Why?"  
  
"Turn around and see."  
  
Bulma turned around and screamed.  
  
"WHAT!? Where are they? I swear I had them! You gotta believe me! Um...ask Chi Chi! She saw me with them!"  
  
"I believe your friend is busy with Goku at the moment."  
  
Frieza walked by with chocolate smeared around his mouth.  
  
"Him! He ate my cookies!"  
  
Frieza smirked at Bulma and continued walking.  
  
"I'm sorry, but our deal was that if you didn't have 5 chocolate chip cookies than you were to become my slave."  
  
"Oh no! Please! I'll do anything!"  
  
Cell smirked and watched as Bulma got on her hands and knees.  
  
"I'm sorry my dear. You will now call me Master Cell."  
  
'Thank you Frieza!'  
  
***  
  
It was a few minutes later and finally Mr. Davis walked in the classroom.  
  
"Sorry I'm late. There was a lot of traffic. Oh and I apologize about yesterday."  
  
Everyone just stared at him.  
  
"Um...right. I'll take attendance now. Cell?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Bulma?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Chi Chi?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Prince Vegeta?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Piccolo?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Frieza?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Zarbon?"  
  
"Here"  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Lunch?"  
  
"Here!"  
  
"Great everyone's here! Let's start off with some math. Let's have Cell and Piccolo come to the board."  
  
"May I have my slave come to the board for me?"  
  
"Uh...I guess so."  
  
Vegeta cocked an eyebrow at Cell.  
  
'Who the fuck would be his slave?'  
  
Bulma sighed and walked to the board.  
  
'What!? Bulma? But...why? Why would Bulma be Cell's slave?'  
  
"Ok. What does 2+3=?"  
  
Piccolo and Bulma wrote the 5 on the board.  
  
"That's correct! You both may sit down. Let's have Goku and Frieza come up."  
  
Goku and Frieza walked to the board and picked up some chalk.  
  
"Your problem is 6-3= what?"  
  
Frieza wrote 3 on the board. Goku stared at the chalkboard.  
  
'Hmm...maybe it's umm...'  
  
Goku started to count on his fingers.  
  
'If I have 6 then I do something and put a 3...I get -36!'  
  
Goku wrote -36 on the board.  
  
"3. Good job Frieza! Er...-36? Nice try Goku."  
  
"Ha! Monkey boy is stupid!"  
  
"Frieza!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Goku sat down and frowned at the bottle of Tylenol.  
  
"Way to tell me the wrong answer!"  
  
Chi Chi looked at Goku.  
  
'He's talking to it?'  
  
"What do you mean!? You told me the answer was -36! That's probably not even a number!"  
  
Everyone was staring at Goku.  
  
"Don't give me that look! Aww...how can I stay mad at you? You're so cute!"  
  
Piccolo turned his head away from Goku.  
  
'Goku really needs help and fast.'  
  
***  
  
It was story time. Mr. Davis was reading 'The 3 Little Pigs'. (A/N: I don't own that story.) Frieza was explaining what the next joke was.  
  
"Ok...we take Goku's Tylenol and..."  
  
Mr. Davis looked at Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria.  
  
"Would you care to share your conversation with the class?"  
  
"No."  
  
"No."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Mr. Davis continued reading.  
  
***  
  
It was snack time and free time. Goku was feeding his Tylenol some ham.  
  
"I know you like ham. Please eat it?"  
  
Chi Chi sat next to Goku.  
  
"Oh hi Chi Chi."  
  
"Hi Goku! What's wrong?"  
  
"The Tylenol aren't eating. I'm worried."  
  
"...Oh..."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Goku I have to ask you something. Can we go over there and talk about it?"  
  
"Sure. Daddy will be right back ok?"  
  
Goku kissed the bottle of Tylenol.  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria walked over to Goku's Tylenol.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"Yes sire."  
  
"I'm all set Lord Frieza. Do you really think this is a good idea? The kid's nuts!"  
  
"Trust me Zarbon. He's a stupid, weak monkey! He can't hurt me."  
  
"But didn't you see him when Ms. Machnik tried to take one? His hair turned gold! I heard the monkey prince saying something about him becoming the legendary."  
  
Zarbon began to cry when Dodoria mentioned Ms. Machnik's name.  
  
"It's just a silly legend. It was probably just your imagination about his turning gold."  
  
***  
  
Bulma was writing a thank you letter to Frieza from Cell.  
  
"Erm...Master Cell?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why are you thanking Frieza? What did he do?"  
  
"Uh...that's not important."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Bulma finished and gave the letter to Frieza. She returned back to Cell.  
  
"What should I do now Master Cell?"  
  
"Hmm...how about you fed me some grapes."  
  
"Yes Master Cell."  
  
Vegeta couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
"That poor girl! Wait...why do I care?"  
  
Vegeta watched Bulma fed Cell one grape at a time.  
  
"Grr..who cares! I just can't watch this anymore!"  
  
Vegeta ran over to Cell and Bulma.  
  
"Let her go Cell!"  
  
"Ah Vegeta. How are you?"  
  
Vegeta growled at Cell.  
  
"Let her go!"  
  
"Hmm...no."  
  
"Come on Bulma! Let's go!"  
  
"I...can't..."  
  
***  
  
Lunch was really bored. There was no one to play with. Bulma was busy being Cell's slave, Chi Chi was explaining marriage to Goku and Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria were busy. That left Piccolo.  
  
'He'd never play with me! After all I've put him through. Oh well...couldn't hurt to try.'  
  
Lunch sat next to Piccolo who was meditating.  
  
"Piccolo?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Will you play with me?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"*sniff* But you're the only one not doing anything!"  
  
"Go away."  
  
Lunch glomped Piccolo's arm.  
  
"Please! I'll love you forever!"  
  
"Eh...how about if I play with you, you won't love me forever?"  
  
"Uh ok."  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi and Goku walked back to Goku's desk.  
  
"I still don't understand this marriage thing."  
  
"It's really simple Goku."  
  
Goku began to sniff the air.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Something doesn't smell right."  
  
"Eh..."  
  
Goku ran over to his Tylenol. He ripped the top off and poured the pill on his desk.  
  
"No! These aren't Tylenol!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"They're Advil!" (A/N: I don't own Advil either.)  
  
Goku turned to Chi Chi with hate burning in his eyes.  
  
"Erm..."  
  
"You did this!"  
  
"No! I didn't! I was with you!"  
  
"Then you were in on it!"  
  
"Goku I swear! I had no idea!"  
  
Goku saw Frieza laughing. Zarbon and Dodoria inched away.  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"Ahaha! You should have seen the look on your face! It was priceless!"  
  
Goku turned super sayian.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!"  
  
"Hahaha-what?"  
  
***  
  
"What!? What do you mean you can't?"  
  
"She's my slave Vegeta. She listens to me and does what I say."  
  
"But why is she your slave?"  
  
"She didn't keep her end of the deal."  
  
'Hmm..I think I'll make Vegeta jealous. He obviously likes this girl.'  
  
"My slave?"  
  
"Yes Master Cell?"  
  
"I want you to give me a kiss."  
  
"No! Don't kiss him!"  
  
Bulma walked over to Cell. Vegeta clenched his fist. Bulma got very close to Cell's face.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Vegeta let out a deafening scream. Cell stared wide-eyed at Vegeta as his hair became gold.  
  
"Get away from him!"  
  
Bulma backed away. Cell glared at Vegeta.  
  
"She's my slave! I tell her what to do!"  
  
"She's no longer your slave! She's free to do whatever she wants now!"  
  
"I don't think so!"  
  
"I challenge you to a fight tomorrow! If I win, she's free. If you win, she's your slave. For now she's free."  
  
"Fine Vegeta. You know you still can't beat me."  
  
"We'll see."  
  
***  
  
Goku and Frieza were exchanging blows. Mr. Davis cleared his throat.  
  
"Play time's over."  
  
No one listened.  
  
"PLAY TIMES OVER!"  
  
No one paid any attention to him. Goku and Frieza continued to fight, Chi Chi was planning the wedding since Goku agreed, Cell was training, Vegeta was testing his strength as a super sayian, Bulma ran over to Lunch and Piccolo to tell them everything that happened and Zarbon and Dodoria were setting up a trap for Mr. Davis.  
  
"Ok I think it will work."  
  
"Good. Why is Lord Frieza playing practical jokes on people?"  
  
"Cooler gave him a book in 101 practical jokes."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Mr. Davis sighed.  
  
'No one's listening to me!'  
  
He went to sit down and stepped in a rope.  
  
"What's this doing here?"  
  
Before Mr. Davis could do anything else he found himself hanging upside down from the ceiling.  
  
"Get me down! Whoever did that better confess!"  
  
***  
  
"Oh Bulma that's horrible!"  
  
Lunch gave Bulma a hug.  
  
"Vegeta actually saved you? And he's fighting for your freedom?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"That's not like him at all. He must have a crush on you!"  
  
Bulma blushed.  
  
"You really think so Piccolo?"  
  
"Yeah. There's no way Vegeta would do that unless he liked you."  
  
***  
  
Goku and Frieza stopped fighting.  
  
"I'll get you for replacing my Tylenol with Advil!"  
  
"Ha! I'd like to see you try!"  
  
Goku and Frieza went back to fighting.  
  
***  
  
Zarbon and Dodoria came by Mr. Davis.  
  
"Hey boys?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Can you please get me down?"  
  
"Nope. Sorry."  
  
Zarbon picked up Mr. Davis's wallet and the loose change that had fallen out.  
  
"Thanks for the money!"  
  
"You two are in big trouble once I get down!"  
  
"What if you never get down?"  
  
"I WILL!"  
  
Zarbon and Dodoria laughed and walked away.  
  
"I'll get you two!"  
  
The bell rang. Frieza and Goku glared at each other and stopped fighting. Everyone left.  
  
"Wait! Please don't go! GET ME DOWN!"  
  
Mr. Davis tried swinging.  
  
"Maybe the rope will snap."  
  
He swung right into the wall.  
  
"Owwies...oh look at the pretty birdies!"  
  
Mr. Davis fell unconscious.  
  
***  
  
Wee! Did you like it? Please review! *gives thumbs up* Thanks! 


	8. Chapter 8

Hey! Sorry I'm so late with this. School and field hockey are holding back my updates. I'm home sick so I thought I'd update all my stories. Thanks for all the reviews! *gives everyone a cookie* ^_^ Hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Me: *sneezes* I *sneeze* Don't *sneeze* Cell: *_* Stay away from me! Me: *blinks* Why? Cell: GERMS! *runs away screaming* Me: o.O Who would have known. Well...I don't own DBZ.  
  
***  
  
Once Mr. Davis regained conciseness, he quit. That was another teacher the chibis had scared off. The principal was starting to get worried.  
  
"These brats are ruining our schools reputation. I need a teacher that will keep them in line."  
  
He went online and searched the web looking for someone harsh, mean and cold.  
  
"Ah here we go!"  
  
***  
  
Bulma sat next to Lunch and Chi Chi.  
  
"Did you guys here about the new kid?"  
  
"No, but I heard about a new teacher."  
  
"Really? Wow a new kid and teacher in the same day."  
  
The class grew quiet when the door opened. The principal walked in.  
  
"Hello students. You seem to have a record for making the most teachers quit. I can assure you that will end now. I think your new teacher will have you in line. Please welcome...Mr. Smiley." (A/N: Thanks to my sister for his name ^_^)  
  
Everyone blinked at the principal.  
  
'This guy can't be serious! Mr. Smiley? HAHA!'  
  
Vegeta started cracking up.  
  
"Mr. Smiley! Oh boy I'm so scared! I want my mommy! Hahaha!"  
  
The whole class started to laugh.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry did I say Mr. Smiley? I meant Sargent Smiley!"  
  
Everyone stopped laughing and gulped. An army Sargent waltzed through the door.  
  
"So these are the brats causing you trouble?"  
  
"Yes sir Sargent Smiley."  
  
"Leave them to me."  
  
The principal smiled and left. Sargent Smiley walked over to his desk. He picked up the attendance book.  
  
"Stand up!"  
  
Cell looked at Frieza.  
  
"Who does this guy think he is?"  
  
"I have no idea, but no ones going to listen to him."  
  
Vegeta suppressed a laugh.  
  
"This guy must be a fool to think we're going to just stand up."  
  
Sargent Smiley walked over to the cubbies. He picked up a brownie and stepped on it. Goku screamed.  
  
"NO! Not the brownies!"  
  
"When I tell you brats something I except you to listen and do as told! AM I CLEAR!"  
  
The class mumbled 'sir yes sir'  
  
"What was that!?"  
  
"Sir yes sir!"  
  
"Good! Now I want you all to stand and when I come to you I want you to say your name!"  
  
Everyone stood up. Bulma turned to Lunch and whispered.  
  
"This guy's a real jerk."  
  
"Yeah I know.  
  
Sargent Smiley walked over to Vegeta.  
  
"What's your name!"  
  
"Prince Vegeta."  
  
"What kind of name is that!?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing."  
  
The class started to giggle.  
  
"Don't get smart with me boy!"  
  
He walked over to Frieza.  
  
"What the hell are you!?"  
  
Frieza growled at him.  
  
"Do you have any idea who I am!? I'm Frieza, the son of King Cold!"  
  
"I didn't ask for your daddy's name! I asked for your name brat!"  
  
Zarbon was fixing his hair when Sargent Smiley walked over to him.  
  
"What's your name pretty boy?"  
  
"Hmm...oh my name's Zarbon."  
  
He walked over to Goku.  
  
"What's your name son!"  
  
Goku looked at him.  
  
"You just said my name."  
  
"Son I have no idea what you're talking about!"  
  
"There you said it again!"  
  
"I'M NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!"  
  
"But you said my name!"  
  
Sargent Smiley looked at the book and saw 'Son, Goku'. He mumbled and walked over to Piccolo.  
  
"What's your name!"  
  
"Piccolo."  
  
Sargent Smiley walked over to Dodoria.  
  
"What's your name tubby!"  
  
"I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"  
  
"Ha! That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard! Now what's your name fatty!"  
  
"I'M NOT FAT YOU JERK!"  
  
"Drop and give me 50 tubby!"  
  
After Sargent Smiley got everyone's names, there was a knock at the door. He walked into the hallway.  
  
"I don't like this guy!"  
  
"Me neither!"  
  
Goku hugged his Tylenol. (A/N: You think I own those? Think again!)  
  
"It's ok my babies. The mean man won't hurt you!"  
  
Sargent Smiley walked back in with what looked like a bunch of hair.  
  
"Attention!"  
  
Everyone looked to Sargent Smiley.  
  
"This is our new student! What's your name!"  
  
"Hercule Satan."  
  
"I expect all of you will treat Hercule like you treat each other! I WILL HAVE NO NAME CALLING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"  
  
"Sir yes sir!"  
  
***  
  
After much begging, Sargent Smiley finally let them have snack time and play time. Vegeta was preparing for his battle with Cell.  
  
'I must win!'  
  
Lunch told Hercule everything that happened.  
  
"So that stupid weakling thinks he can fight? I think I'll fight Cell instead."  
  
"Um...I don't think that's such a good idea Hercule."  
  
Hercule walked over to Vegeta. Vegeta glared at him and continued his exercises.  
  
"What the hell do you want afro boy?"  
  
"I wanted to tell you to stop exercising."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I'm going to fight for you. I can beat Cell with both hands tied behind my back."  
  
"Do you have a brain or is your head filled with hair! You can't beat Cell! You're a weakling! Cell would crush you!"  
  
"Ha! Very funny! I'll have you know that I'm the strongest person in this classroom!"  
  
With that said Hercule walked away.  
  
'That kid is a complete moron.'  
  
***  
  
Piccolo sat in the corner meditating. He felt someone walking by and expected it to be Lunch. Piccolo opened his eye and saw Frieza walking by.  
  
'Ooh I was hoping it was Lunch. Wait...why would I want Lunch to bother me? All she does is annoy me.'  
  
***  
  
Goku walked over to the brownie that Sargent Smiley had stepped on.  
  
"You poor brownie. You never got a chance."  
  
Goku hugged his Tylenol and got a box. He placed the brownie in it and said a few words.  
  
"This brownie was a good brownie. It was probably yummy, but no one will ever know now."  
  
Goku put the box in the garbage and said goodbye.  
  
***  
  
Frieza, Zarbon and Dodoria sat in the corner of the classroom.  
  
"I hate this jerk!"  
  
"Me too Lord Frieza!"  
  
"Me three! He called me fat!"  
  
"We need to get him out of here! He wasn't even going to let us have snack or play time!"  
  
"What did you do with your 101 practical joke book?"  
  
"I have it, but I don't see anything we can do."  
  
"Wait what about this one!"  
  
Dodoria pointed to practical joke #53. The 3 boys licked their lips and smirked.  
  
***  
  
Bulma sat and watched Cell warm up.  
  
'Please let Vegeta win!'  
  
Hercule walked up to Cell. Cell looked at him.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Vegeta backed out of the fight."  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
Bulma jumped up and shrieked.  
  
"Quiet!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
She sat back down.  
  
'Please let him be lying.'  
  
"Now what's this you're telling me? Vegeta backed down from the fight?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I find that hard to believe. Did Vegeta tell you this?"  
  
"No, but I'm going to fight for you."  
  
Cell cocked an eyebrow at Hercule.  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
"Of course I'm serious!"  
  
"Hahahaha! You...want to fight me? Do you have any idea who I am?"  
  
"I don't really care! All I know is that you're weak and I can beat you no sweat."  
  
"Hahahaha! You've got to be kidding me!"  
  
"Look's like I'm stuck being Cell's slave."  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi walked over to Goku.  
  
"Are you ready to get married?"  
  
"*sniff* But today is a day of mourning."  
  
"Mourning? For what?"  
  
"That brownie Sargent Smiley stepped on!"  
  
"You're mourning for a-a brownie!?"  
  
"Uh huh! The poor thing never got a chance!"  
  
Goku hugged Chi Chi and started to cry.  
  
'Well...we're not getting married today, but he's hugging me.'  
  
***  
  
Lunch sat at the kitchen center all alone.  
  
'I wish someone was here to play with me.'  
  
She rested her head on her hand and watched everyone else. Piccolo walked over to Lunch.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Piccolo?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yay! Will you play with me! Please?"  
  
Piccolo sighed and agreed.  
  
***  
  
Vegeta growled and stomped over to Hercule and Cell.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing you baka! I never said I wanted you to fight!"  
  
"I can beat Cell faster than you can!"  
  
"Give me a break!"  
  
Cell watched them argue.  
  
"Stop arguing I have an idea. Vegeta, you and Hercule will fight to see who will fight me."  
  
"Hn...fine."  
  
"Ha! I'll beat this punk up so fast! I'm the strongest person in the classroom!"  
  
Vegeta shook his head and mumbled egomaniac.  
  
'Don't worry Bulma. I'll win and beat Cell.'  
  
***  
  
Woo...I got tired of writing. -_-() Did you like it? Please review! *gives thumbs up* Thanks! Is this a cliffhanger? 'Cause if it is, it's the first time I've ever written one. If I stay home tomorrow I'll write more and updated on...Friday or Saturday. Bai! 


	9. Chapter 9

Eek! I'm so sorry guys! *hugs everyone* Nothing's really been going my way lately *sighs* But I'm trying to turn my pissed off mood into a happy writing mood...hehe. Blah...ignorant people piss me off. Anyway...thanks for all the reviews! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Again...I'm so very, truly, deeply, terribly, horribly, *gets a dictionary* dreadfully sorry ^_^()  
  
Disclaimer: Cell: *drops a beat* Me: Yo yo my name is Jess-Chan and I'm a big DBZ fan. If you think I own DBZ, you must be cra-zy! Cell: That was...lame. -_- Me: Feh like you could do better. Cell: Maybe I could...I am perfect you know. Me: *rolls eyes*  
  
***  
  
Vegeta and Hercule were just about ready to fight. Cell awaited eagerly.  
  
'I can't wait to fight Vegeta.'  
  
Vegeta was just about to attack when the bell rang.  
  
"Ugh! It's time to go home already?"  
  
"I guess so. You two will have to finish this battle tomorrow."  
  
"Fine with me. I guess you lucked out Vegeta."  
  
"I don't think it was me who lucked out."  
  
"Ha!"  
  
Sargent Smiley growled loudly and slammed his fists on the desk.  
  
"WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL RINGING NOISE!?"  
  
All the chibis stopped packing up and looked at Sargent Smiley like he was a nut. Lunch raised her hand.  
  
"Uh...Sargent Smiley sir?"  
  
"What is it soldier!?"  
  
"That ringing noise is the bell to go home."  
  
"The bell to go home?"  
  
Everyone nodded their heads.  
  
"Well isn't that nice. SIT BACK DOWN NOW!"  
  
Vegeta's mouth dropped open.  
  
"Wha-what!?"  
  
"I said sit down! That's an order and you will all follow it!"  
  
Everyone reluctantly sat down except Frieza.  
  
"I'm not sitting down! I'm going home!"  
  
"You will sit down and you'll do it NOW!!"  
  
"Everyone else is leaving! It's not fair!"  
  
"SIT DOWN NOW!!!"  
  
Frieza pouted and stomped his feet, ready to throw a fit. Zarbon walked over to Frieza and dragged him back to his seat.  
  
"Lord Frieza, we'll have more time to do that practical joke if we stay."  
  
"Hmph, fine Zarbon."  
  
***  
  
Everyone was staring at the clock, waiting for Sargent Smiley to stop talking. He was telling them about his experiences in the army. Goku's stomach was growling.  
  
'Aww man. It's been 2 hours since I last ate! I'm so hungry.'  
  
Goku surveyed the area for food.  
  
'Aww! There's nothing...unless I eat my Tylenol. NO! What am I thinking! I love them...but then again. They look so yummy and tasty. Mmm...so little and white. I bet they taste so sweet.'  
  
Goku reached into his desk and pulled out the bottle of Tylenol. He popped off the top and downed the whole bottle. Chi Chi was surprised to see Goku do that.  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"Um...do you know you're eating your Tylenol?"  
  
"Yeah. Want some?"  
  
Goku stuck out his tongue filled with tiny white pills.  
  
"Ugh...no thanks."  
  
***  
  
Sargent Smiley decided that everyone deserved a break for being well behaved. Dodoria, Frieza and Zarbon were in a corner talking.  
  
"Ok. We need glue, feathers and a bucket."  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea. I mean...he isn't so bad. He let us have a break."  
  
"Dodoria?"  
  
"Yes Lord Frieza?"  
  
"Give me a good reason why I should punch you in the face."  
  
"Erm...I'll get the glue!"  
  
Dodoria hurried off. Zarbon and Frieza sighed and went back to planning their attack.  
  
***  
  
Goku frantically searched the room.  
  
"Where are they!?"  
  
He sat down and started to cry. Chi Chi came over and sat next to him.  
  
"What's wrong honey?"  
  
"I can't find my Tylenol anywhere!"  
  
Chi Chi looked at Goku strangely.  
  
"Don't you remember?"  
  
"Remember what Chi Chi?"  
  
"You ate them."  
  
"I WHAT!?"  
  
"Um...ate them?"  
  
"Tell me you're kidding! I wouldn't eat my precious babies!"  
  
Chi Chi handed Goku the empty bottle of Tylenol.  
  
"I...I did eat them, didn't I? I'm...a monster!"  
  
Goku started crying hysterically.  
  
"I'm a murder!"  
  
"Goku! Are you are not!"  
  
"You don't want to marry me, the murder. I understand Chi Chi. I'll just go away."  
  
Goku started to walk away.  
  
"Wait! I never said that! Grr!"  
  
Chi Chi kicked the bottle of Tylenol.  
  
'Why did I have to tell him that! I could have bought in a new bottle! He wouldn't know! Wait...maybe I still can! Our marriage will be saved!'  
  
***  
  
Piccolo sighed while he 'fried' eggs in the kitchen center.  
  
"Can't I ever pick what we do Lunch?"  
  
"Well what do you wanna do Piccolo?"  
  
"Meditate."  
  
"But I don't know how."  
  
"It's simple. I can teach you."  
  
"Uh...ok I guess."  
  
"Good. Let's go."  
  
***  
  
Vegeta smiled.  
  
'Maybe staying longer wasn't such a bad idea after all. I still have time to kick afro puff's ass.'  
  
Hercule rubbed his hands together.  
  
'Man! This is going to be great! I'll kick Vegeta's butt and all the girls will love me and everyone will fear, yet respect me! I'm so smart. Vegeta has no idea what he's up against.'   
  
Bulma rubbed her temples. Hercule was giving her a headache.  
  
'All he does is ramble about how he's the greatest and strongest! Vegeta, you better beat him!'  
  
Cell finished setting up the ring, made entirely out of legos. (A/N: I just love Legos ^_^)  
  
"Ok. Let's get this match started, shall we?"  
  
Vegeta hopped over the legos and stood ready to attack. Hercule winked at Bulma and then tripped over the lego ring. Cell muttered about how his perfect lego ring was ruined.  
  
"Graceful entrance."  
  
"Shut up Vegeta!"  
  
Cell sighed.  
  
"Ok. When I say fight you can start, ok?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"All right."  
  
"Ready...flight!"  
  
Vegeta and Hercule were about to attack when Cell interrupted them.  
  
"I don't believe I said fight."  
  
"Ugh! Come on Cell! This isn't funny!"  
  
"Ok ok. Ready...fright!"  
  
Hercule and Vegeta fell over.  
  
"Will you cut that out android!"  
  
Cell couldn't answer Vegeta because he was laughing so much.  
  
"I don't find this the least bit funny!"  
  
"Ha...ye-hahahaha-yes it hahahahaa...yes it is!"  
  
"Grr..."  
  
Cell stood up and wiped a tear.  
  
"Oh man...you should have seen your faces."  
  
"CELL!"  
  
"Huh? Oh right the match. Ready...fight."  
  
Vegeta smirked as Hercule started to punch him.  
  
"Feel the wrath of my fists Vegeta!"  
  
Vegeta yawned and grabbed both of Hercule's wrists. Vegeta pushed Hercule and then landed a swift kick. Hercule went flying into the wall.  
  
"Hercule landed out of the ring. Vegeta wins. What a surprise."  
  
Hercule grabbed his head and started to whine.  
  
"That's not fair! I want a rematch! I um...tripped on my...shoe laces! Yeah that's it."  
  
Vegeta and Cell both rolled their eyes.  
  
"You lost so leave!"  
  
"Fine! You losers! You cheated!"  
  
Hercule ran over to the other side of the room.  
  
***  
  
Sargent Smiley's eye was twitching.  
  
"Can't...take all...this...happiness...EVERYONE SIT DOWN NOW!"  
  
Vegeta growled.  
  
'I'm never going to get a chance to fight Cell! Poor Bulma.'  
  
Everyone walked over to their desks. Dodoria raised his hand.  
  
"What is it tubby!?"  
  
"I need to go to the bathroom!"  
  
"Well too bad!"  
  
"Please! I REALLY NEED TO GO!"  
  
"Fine! You have 2 minutes!"  
  
Dodoria ran out of the room and down the hallway. Frieza and Zarbon smiled at each other. Sargent Smiley walked over to the board.  
  
"It's time for times table drills!"  
  
Everyone looked at each other.  
  
"Times tables?"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Don't play stupid with me! It's multiplication!"  
  
"We only know how to add and subtract sir. Well...except Bulma and Cell. They're the smartest."  
  
"Well...let's have a contest! Cell and Bulma get up here!"  
  
Bulma walked over to the board. Cell leaned toward her.  
  
"You are still technically my slave."  
  
"But Vegeta said I was free until you both fought."  
  
"I had my fingers crossed."  
  
Cell smirked at her.  
  
"I command you to lose."  
  
"To...lose?"  
  
Cell nodded.  
  
"If you know what's good for you, you'll listen to me."  
  
Bulma sighed and looked down at her feet.  
  
"Fine. I'll lose."  
  
"Good."  
  
Sargent Smiley finished explaining multiplication to the class.  
  
"Ok. We'll start with Bulma. 5x9!"  
  
"45."  
  
"Cell...6x8!"  
  
"48."  
  
"7x9!"  
  
"63."  
  
"7x8!"  
  
"56."  
  
This went on for awhile. Sargent Smiley decided that these last two would decide the winner.  
  
"Bulma...11x12!"  
  
"Um..."  
  
She looked over at Cell.  
  
"123."  
  
"That's wrong! Cell, if you can answer it correctly you win."  
  
"The answer is 132."  
  
"Correct!"  
  
Bulma sighed and went back to her seat. Vegeta glared at Cell.  
  
'He made her lose! I know it! Grr...I'll kill him!'  
  
Frieza raised his hand.  
  
"What is it!?"  
  
"Dodoria has been in the bathroom a really long time."  
  
"You're right! Don't you kids do anything! I'll be right back!"  
  
Sargent Smiley dashed out of the room. Frieza and Zarbon grabbed the bucket of glue and feathers.  
  
"Ok Zarbon. Fly up there and put the bucket over the door. Then attach the string to it."  
  
"Ok!"  
  
Zarbon set the bucket up and tied the string on. He flew back down and held the string.  
  
"When he opens the door and steps in you pull the string, covering him with glue. I'll be waiting up here and I'll pour the feathers on him. Then we can all run out!"  
  
The class started to giggle.  
  
"Hey that's a good plan Frieza!"  
  
"Thanks. Shh! He's coming."  
  
The class all smiled and waited. Sargent Smiley was dragging Dodoria down the hallway.  
  
"Get in there!"  
  
He shoved Dodoria into the classroom. Dodoria made sure he was out of the way. Sargent Smiley stepped into the room. Zarbon pulled the string and the glue split all over Sargent Smiley.  
  
"ALL RIGHT! WHOEVER DID THAT IS GOING TO PAY!!"  
  
Frieza smirked and poured the feathers on him.  
  
"Take that!"  
  
All the chibis grabbed their stuff and ran out of the room. Vegeta pushed Sargent Smiley.  
  
"Later sucker!"  
  
***  
  
Wee! Did that suck? I hope not -_- Tell me what you think! *gives thumbs up* Thanks! I love you guys! And I'm going to apologize again with my very late updates and all my stories! SORRY!!! *gives everyone cool stuff* 


	10. Chapter 10

OMG! I haven't updated this since JANUARY!? Another month and like 4 days and that would be a WHOLE YEAR! *cries* I'm so terribly sorry! *cries harder* Don't hate me please! ;_; Ugh...just things have been totally sucking. I seriously hate my school and everyone in it. FFN deleted two of my stories...been having friend problems again...relationship problems...gah! But everything's pretty tranquil right now so I figured I'd get to writing.  
  
I was thinking about quitting writing when my fics got deleted, but I can't let all you guys down. And I've made you all wait so long for this chapter! I hope I don't suck because I haven't written in forever.  
  
I'm going to update my FFN profile frequently to give you guys an idea of how things are going with me and if I'll be updating soon and such. My life's a complete spazz and I never know what's going to happen next, so things can change and all.  
  
A huge, special thanks to all my reviewers! Over 300! *tosses confetti* ^_^ Your reviews mean a lot to me *is proud to have you all as reviewers* *swears she's not sucking up* Thanks so much for putting up with my bad updating -_-  
  
Disclaimer: Me: One, two, three. I don't own DBZ! Cell: Hmm...that rhymed. Me: It was supposed to, Cell. Cell: -_- Jess also doesn't own Tylenol Goku: Did someone say Tylenol!? *looks all around* Me: _-_() Get lost, Kakarot! Goku: *pouts*  
  
***  
  
Zarbon sat at his desk, doodling a picture of Ms. Machnik. (A/N: Aww poor chibi Zarbon ;_;) Frieza walked over and took his seat next to Zarbon.  
  
"Aren't you over that harpy yet, Zarbon?" Frieza asked eyeing the paper.  
  
Zarbon clutched the drawing to his chest. "She's not a harpy, Lord Frieza!"  
  
"Whatever. Do you think Sargent Smiley will be back?"  
  
"Psh...after what we did to him? No way!" Zarbon went back to doodling his beloved Ms. Machnik. (A/N: I heard she's engaged now! I hope Zarbon doesn't find out @_@())  
  
***  
  
Vegeta sat at his usual seat and glared at Cell. "Are you ready to lose, android?"  
  
"Ha! If you think I'm going to lose to you, Vegeta, you're sadly mistaken. Shall we fight after snack time today?"  
  
Vegeta huffed. "Yeah, sure. I can't fight on an empty stomach."  
  
Cell was about to say something to Vegeta when Goku came stumbling into the room.  
  
"I throw myself at the mercy of the court!" Goku cried, literally throwing himself.  
  
The chibis gathered around Goku, wondering what was going through the Tylenol junkie's mind this time. Chi Chi squeezed her way through the crowd and kneeled down next to her 'husband-to-be'.   
  
"Goku!? Honey, what's wrong?"  
  
"You know what's wrong, Chi Chi. Tell them what I've done!"  
  
"Goku, what are you talking about!?"  
  
Goku grabbed onto the front of Chi Chi's 'Tylenol rules' shirt. "Tell them...tell them I'm a murder!" Goku sobbed. "Tell them I'm a camm...man...mandible?" Goku stopped sobbing and paused to think of the word he was trying to say.  
  
"Cannibal." Cell corrected Goku.  
  
"Yeah...what Cell said."  
  
Chi Chi rolled her eyes. "Goku, Tylenol aren't human beings! Therefor you aren't a cannibal! You're not even a murder!"  
  
"Yes, Kakarot. The girl's right. Now shut up and get up! This is pathetic!" Vegeta growled, walking back to his seat.  
  
The rest of the chibis followed Vegeta and went back to their seats. Cell and Vegeta continued to glaring at each other, not noticing that Frieza had walked up to them.  
  
"Hey guys, what do you say we start another bet? I'm pretty sure Sargent Smiley won't be back after what I did to him yesterday. We'll make a bet on the new teacher, ok?"  
  
"..."  
  
Frieza coughed, "Ahem...?"  
  
"..."  
  
Frieza looked at Cell and Vegeta, then glanced around the room. "Um right...I'm just going to back away slowly now..." Frieza did just as he said and backed away slowly until he fell into his seat.  
  
***  
  
The classroom door opened and the chibis gasped in surprise to see that it was Sargent Smiley who walked in.  
  
'What is he doing back here?' Vegeta wondered.  
  
The chibis started to giggle when Sargent Smiley turned so his back was facing them.  
  
"What the hell are you brats laughing at!?" Sargent Smiley growled, starting to pack up his things from the desk.  
  
Frieza stood up and pointed to Sargent Smiley's hair. "You still have some feathers and glue stuck to you...hahahaha!"  
  
Sargent Smiley narrowed his eyes and continued packing.  
  
"Aww are you leaving us so soon Sargent Smiley?" Vegeta mocked.  
  
"Yeah...you're not so smiley anymore!" Dodoria added, waiting for a laugh.  
  
"..."  
  
"Dodoria, you moron, that wasn't funny at all! He didn't even smile! That was the whole point of him being named Sargent Smiley. You know, for irony?" Frieza rolled his eyes at the stupidity of his servant.  
  
"Sorry, Lord Frieza."  
  
Sargent Smiley sent the chibis one last glare before exiting the classroom. Right after he left, the principal walked in.  
  
"I hope you brats are proud of yourselves!"  
  
The chibis nodded and congratulated each other for a job well done. The principal's eye started twitching.  
  
'They truly are little monsters, aren't they? Well I think this new teacher will show them all not to mess with me! No one will ruin the good name I built for this school...NO ONE!'  
  
The chibis stopped cheering and blinked at the principal who was smiling to himself. Just what was he up to...  
  
"I'll have you all know," he started, "that all the fun and games end here! I thought Sargent Smiley would do the trick, but I guess I was wrong. However, I feel that your new teacher will, without a doubt, whip you brats into shape! I'd like you to meet my mother-in-law, Mrs. Haggison!" (A/N: A name my sister and I made up when we were little. It's what we named the dumb lady in the village that called the soldiers after you from the Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.)  
  
An elderly old...hag...walked into the classroom. Her grey, nearly white, hair was tied in a tight bun and sat at the top of her head. Her face was covered in wrinkles, but her sharp features were still visible enough to give a hint of her personality.  
  
'Yep. Her name fits her perfectly...she's a total hag.' Bulma thought, studying her new teacher.  
  
"Have fun." The principal winked and skipped out the door, humming happily.  
  
"All right you little maggots! You're all getting assigned seats. Now when I say your name, I'm going to point to a desk and you're going to sit there without a word! Got it!?"  
  
'Ugh! Her voice is so painful to listen to...it just screams hag!' Vegeta covered his ears to make sure they weren't bleeding. Her voice was scratchy and raspy. She was definitely a smoker.  
  
"Hey!" Frieza jumped out of his seat. "No one order's me around you old bat! I'm Frieza the soon to be ruler of this whole universe!"  
  
"Well guess what, Frieza? In this classroom you're NOBODY! Now shut the hell up and sit down until I tell you to move!"  
  
Frieza stared at Mrs. Haggison in astonishment. She just didn't speak that way to him, did she? Before Frieza could retort, he found himself complying with Mrs. Haggison's command and sat down.  
  
"Now let's see here..." Mrs. Haggison adjusted her glasses and peered down at the attendance sheet. "Piccolo?"  
  
Piccolo looked over at the hag and nodded his head.  
  
"You're going to sit at this desk right here," she tapped the desk and placed a check next to Piccolo's name.  
  
Piccolo got up from his seat and moved to the desk Mrs. Haggison had tapped.  
  
"Launch?"  
  
Piccolo glanced up and looked over at Launch. 'Oh please Kami...don't let her sit here!! PLEASE!' Piccolo silently pleaded with Kami.  
  
"Why don't you have a seat next to Piccolo."  
  
"Ok!" Launch grinned and took her seat. She smiled shyly at Piccolo.  
  
'Thanks a lot, Kami!' Piccolo thought bitterly.  
  
Mrs. Haggison went down the list placing everyone at a desk, except for Frieza who was left standing.  
  
"Um, Mrs. Haggison?" Frieza asked, raising his hand.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Where am I going to sit?"  
  
"Oh that's right." Mrs. Haggison walked over to the only empty desk left and dragged it into the corner of the room. "There you go."  
  
"What!? Why do I have to sit in the corner?"  
  
"Because you're an annoying little maggot and once you show some respect for your elder's you can join the rest of the class!" Mrs. Haggison pushed Frieza into the seat and walked over to her desk.  
  
'I'll show that stupid hag not to mess with me...'  
  
The desks had been moved so that two were connected. Goku sat with Chi Chi, Piccolo sat with Launch, Bulma sat with Vegeta, Cell sat with Zarbon, Dodoria sat with Hercule and of course Frieza sat alone in the corner.  
  
Chi Chi was grateful she got to sit with Goku. Now was her chance to give him the new Tylenol bottle and try to convince him they were really his. Nothing was going to stand in the way of her marrying Goku, especially not some dopey pills.  
  
"Psst...Goku..."  
  
"What is it, Chi Chi?"  
  
"Look at what I found!" Chi Chi pulled a golden bottle of Tylenol from underneath her shirt. "It's your Tylenol!"  
  
"But I thought I ate my Tylenol?" Goku asked confused. That bottle sure did look like his Tylenol.  
  
"No you didn't. I told you before I don't know what your talking about."  
  
"You told me yesterday I ate them!"  
  
"No! You must have been dreaming! I never said anything like that. Here." Chi Chi handed Goku the Tylenol.  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Haggison rummaged through her bag until she pulled out some papers. "Pop quiz time!"  
  
"WHAT!?" The chibis screamed in union.  
  
"We haven't even learned anything yet!" Zarbon folded his arms. "How can we possibly have a quiz?"  
  
"What was that, Zarbon? You want 10 points taken off your quiz?"  
  
"What? I never said that!"  
  
"A zero? Are you sure?"  
  
Zarbon went to open his mouth, but quickly shut it.  
  
"That's better. Now...everyone take out a pencil," Mrs. Haggison instructed while passing out the quizzes.  
  
'I wish Ms. Machnik was here.' Zarbon heaved a sigh and looked at the quiz that was placed on his desk. What was this stuff?  
  
"Hey, Cell?" Zarbon whispered.  
  
Cell checked to see if Mrs. Haggison was looking. "What is it?" Cell whispered back.  
  
"Do you understand what any of this is?" Zarbon asked, pointing to the quiz.  
  
"Oh yeah. That's long division. It's fairly simple."  
  
Cell and Zarbon stopped their whispering when Mrs. Haggison glanced their way.  
  
"Could you tell me the answers?" Zarbon whispered once she looked away.  
  
"It will cost you." Cell smirked.  
  
Zarbon sighed. "Fine. What do I have to do?"  
  
"Hmm..." Cell tapped his chin. "How about for every problem I answer, which will be all 20, you must give me a cookie...homemade kind. None of that store-brought stuff."  
  
"20 cookies? Fine."  
  
"So it's a deal then?" Cell held out his hand. Zarbon nodded his head and shook Cell's hand.  
  
Cell worked out all the problems on his paper and slid it to the side, allowing Zarbon to copy the answers.  
  
***  
  
Goku blinked down at his paper. How could he possibly do this long division if he couldn't count any higher than 10? He shrugged and decided he'd fill in the answers with the names of his pills.  
  
Chi Chi glanced over at Goku's paper to see if she was doing it right. (A/N: Don't ask why she'd be looking at Kakarot for help -_-())  
  
'Let's see...the answer to number 6 is...Mr. Pill? What!? Ugh! Now I kinda wish I wasn't sitting next to Goku.'  
  
***  
  
Bulma was checking over her work for the 5th time and glanced over at Vegeta who seemed to be struggling on the last problem. She looked back at her paper.  
  
'He is going to fight for my freedom. I really should pay him back somehow. This can be part of it.'  
  
Bulma moved her paper over a little and coughed. Vegeta looked up at Bulma, who smiled at him and glanced at her paper. Vegeta raised an eyebrow and smirked as Bulma nodded her head. He quickly copied down the answer.  
  
***  
  
Frieza glared at everyone in the classroom.  
  
'What fools! If only I was sitting with them. Then I could tell them to protest and not do any work! I guess this will be a one man rebellion.'  
  
Frieza looked at his blank quiz and smiled in satisfaction. This hag was going to down, even if Frieza had to do it himself.  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Haggison had collected all of the quizzes and was working on grading them. She allowed the chibis to socialize, but they could not leave their seats.  
  
"Hey you, pink...thing." Hercule poked at Dodoria.  
  
"My name's Dodoria."  
  
"Yeah...right. Anyway, you know those two guys?" Hercule asked pointing to Cell and then to Vegeta.  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"They're cheaters! See, I was fighting Vegeta and I tripped on my shoelace, which I bet Cell untied, causing me to lose my balance and fall out of the ring! They don't fight fairly! They're just scared 'cause I'm so much stronger than those wimps."  
  
"Oh?" Dodoria raised an eyebrow at Hercule. He didn't seem very strong...  
  
"Yeah! So I asked for a rematch, but the scaredies were so scared of my awesome power that they said no. They were practically shaking in their boots."  
  
"Scaredies?"  
  
  
  
"Uh...I don't know..." Hercule mumbled. 'So much for that plan. He's obviously not buying my story. I think it would have worked better if I didn't say scaredies. Is that even a word?'  
  
***  
  
Goku started to examine the Tylenol bottle. Chi Chi glanced nervously at Goku.  
  
"What's wrong, Goku?"  
  
Goku sniffed the bottle. "Well it smells like my Tylenol, but it feels a few pills too heavy."  
  
"Oh really? Can I see?" Chi Chi asked.  
  
"Ok." Goku handed the bottle to Chi Chi. She turned around, spun the cap off and downed four pills.  
  
'Eww...I can't believe I'm doing this.' Chi Chi thought as she swallowed the Tylenol. She spun the cap back on and turned around. "It feels fine to me." She handed it back to Goku to let him inspect it again.  
  
"Hey you're right! I must have just been imagining things! Daddy's back my cute little babies!"  
  
Chi Chi blinked at Goku's strange...affection...he showed to the Tylenol.  
  
***  
  
Piccolo was attempting to use this free time to meditate when he felt Launch prod at his ears. He opened his eyes and glared at her.  
  
"What are you doing!?"  
  
"Your ears are so cute!"  
  
"...cute?" Piccolo blinked. How could ears be cute?  
  
Launch giggled and poked at Piccolo's cheeks, which were starting to have a faint reddish tint to them.  
  
"Cut that out!" Piccolo growled and grabbed Launch's finger.  
  
"I made you blush!" Launch smiled.  
  
"You did not! I'm not blushing!" Piccolo let go of Launch's finger and covered his face. Why oh why did he have to get stuck sitting with her!?  
  
Piccolo removed his hands only to find a pair of cheery, blue eyes staring at him. (A/N: Launch has blue eyes...right? @_@)  
  
"GAH!" Piccolo jumped back and fell out of his seat.  
  
"Oops!" Launch covered her mouth and started to giggle more. She scared Piccolo right out of his seat.  
  
"Stupid girls..." Piccolo grumbled while climbing back into his seat.  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Haggison was almost finished grading the papers. She only had one. She grabbed her red marker and looked down at the paper, eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. The paper was completely blank. The only thing written on there was Frieza's name. Mrs. Haggison growled and put a huge, red zero on Frieza's paper. So far that brat had done nothing but annoy her.  
  
***  
  
While everyone was busy chatting, Frieza was working hard planning his revenge.  
  
'She will pay...'  
  
***  
  
Ooooooh...aaaah...what's going to happen!? What is Frieza planning!? Why do these teachers insist on quizzing kindergartners on things like long division and multiplication!? Why does Cell like cookies so much!? When Cell and Vegeta fight, who will win!? Why do I suck at updating!? ^_^() Uh I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! *prays to Kami that it didn't suck* Tell me what you think! *gives thumbs up* Thank you!! *twirls* 


	11. Chapter 11

Eek! =@_@()= I'm really sorry about taking so long to update. School was killing me with all it's work and then I got sick with this really bad throat infection. I had a constant fever for like 5 days *dies* But I'm all recovered and on my spring break! =^_^= Yay! So I decided to get some writing done!  
  
Thank you all so much for reviewing! =^_^= I'm so happy everyone is really enjoying this story! *hugs everyone* You guys are super awesome! *tosses super awesome confetti on everyone* YAY!  
  
Disclaimer: Jess: I don't own DBZ or anything else! So don't sue me! I don't have any money anyway! *cries* Cell: Yes you do! I was looking through your bag and found your wallet with plenty of money! Jess: Hey! That money's reserved for spending on my Jennifer! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY BAG!? Cell: I have a perfect explanation for that. Jess: Oh yeah, then let's hear it. Cell: You see, I...um...*runs* Jess: Oi! Get back here you jerk!  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Haggison paced back and forth in front of the classroom, obviously not pleased.  
  
"It appears some of you," she glared right at Frieza before continuing, "decided they were too good for my pop quiz!"  
  
The smirk on Frieza's faced broadened in pleasure knowing he had successfully annoyed the old bat. Frieza 1, Mrs. Haggison 0.  
  
"Sooooo..." she drawled on, leaving the chibis in suspense, "I've decided to...let you all have play time!" Mrs. Haggison placed something that resembled a smile on her face. It was so awkward, it clearly didn't belong there.  
  
The chibis were absolutely boggled. Did she just say they could have play time? There had to be some catch, but what exactly was she planning? It didn't really matter to the chibis, they wanted to play! Only Frieza, who remained in his seat, seemed to care.  
  
"She's up to something! I know it!" Frieza growled under his breath, never taking his eyes off of his new enemy.   
  
***  
  
"Goku?" Chi Chi desperately tried to draw Goku's attention away from his Tylenol. She mentally cursed herself for giving them to him. They were supposed to help her get Goku to marry her, not ruin her chances! Chi Chi stopped pestering Goku and looked around the room for something that could knock some common sense into her future husband. Anything at all!  
  
"That's it!"  
  
Chi Chi's eyes fell on the perfect weapon. A light from above shone upon this weapon, almost like some sort of validation that it was what she needed. Chi Chi even swore she heard angels singing as she was propelled forward by some unknown force. She hastily snatched up the weapon into her little hands and immediately felt the power within. The plastic frying pan from the kitchen center was the answer. It could cut through the air with ease, it was simple to wield! Sure she had whacked some of the boys, namely Dodoria, with it a few times before, but that was playful. One swift, yet strong blow to the head and Goku would be normal again...or perhaps normal for the first time ever.  
  
Chi Chi smirked and raised the frying pan up in triumph. She was getting married and she was getting married today!  
  
***  
  
Cell and Vegeta stared each other down. It was time to fight for Bulma's future. Bulma stood at the side of the ring, watching Cell and Vegeta step in.  
  
"He's really fighting for me! That's so sweet." Bulma smiled to herself although she was rather nervous. Cell wasn't that bad, but Bulma really didn't want to be stuck as his slave forever!  
  
Zarbon had agreed to be the official of this match. He had nothing better to do since his master had gone crazy trying to get back at Mrs. Haggison. He made a signal for the fighters to get in their stances, then rang the bell.  
  
Bulma winced and covered her eyes. She couldn't watch this! They were really fighting viciously and they had just begun!  
  
***  
  
Piccolo had the perfect chance to meditate, but he couldn't concentrate. Launch was nowhere to be found and that made Piccolo uncomfortable. What if she was waiting to catch him off guard and attack him with...with KISSES!? Ugh! Piccolo stuck out his tongue at the thought. Girls were so stupid and gross! Why wouldn't Launch leave him alone?  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi tiptoed up to Goku holding her newfound savior, the frying pan. She was about to check if Goku was paying attention when she caught herself. Of course he wasn't paying attention! He was too occupied with those damn pills. Chi Chi growled and tightened her grip on the frying pan. She raised it high above her head and brought it down as hard as she could.  
  
WHAM!!!  
  
Chi Chi fell backwards from the force of her own blow. Did she really hit him that hard?  
  
"Goku...?" Chi Chi asked uneasily. She watched as his eyes glazed over. "Oh my gosh! Goku, I'm so sorry! GOKU!?"  
  
THUD!  
  
Goku fell face first onto the floor with a sickening crack. Chi Chi was positive he had cracked his head if she didn't do it first.  
  
"Oh no, oh no!" Chi Chi flailed her arms about aimlessly while she sat on the ground. What did she do to her husband!? She was only trying to help! She didn't want to kill him!  
  
"Uuughmmph..."  
  
Chi Chi blinked. He made a noise...HE WAS ALIVE! She didn't kill Goku!  
  
Goku peeled himself off the floor. "Owwies...that kinda hurt," Goku moaned, gingerly touching his head.  
  
"Oh thank kami! You're not bleeding." Chi Chi let out a sigh of relief. Boy, Goku sure did have a hard head.  
  
Chi Chi stood, hauling Goku up with her. "Are you ok, hon-" Chi Chi blinked, then rubbed her eyes. Was she dreaming? Goku's eyes had been replaced by...hearts!?  
  
"It really worked! Oh Goku! Let's..." Chi Chi trailed off. Goku wasn't looking at her. He was looking at her at all! He was looking at something right behind her...  
  
***  
  
Cell and Vegeta seemed to be evenly matched, but neither Bulma nor Zarbon could tell if one fighter was toying with the other. Bulma had long since removed her hands from her eyes. The fight was actually interesting, even if it looked like it hurt a lot.  
  
Bulma bounced up and down. Vegeta had just delivered a harsh blow that had knocked Cell right on his rear end! Bulma's smile quickly faded as Cell sprung to his feet and sent a kick straight to Vegeta's side.   
  
"Oh no!" Bulma gasped along with Zarbon.  
  
Cell had kicked the wind out of Vegeta and knocked him flat on the ground. He attempted to get up, but found the room started swirling. Vegeta stayed down in an effort to regain his breath while Zarbon began his count.  
  
"Come on, Vegeta!" Bulma had remained quiet throughout the whole match until now. She really felt Vegeta could use some cheering on.  
  
"What's wrong, Prince? Can't get up?" Cell mocked, smirking proudly at Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta hissed at Cell through his clenched teeth. As soon as the room stopped spinning, Cell was so going to pay!  
  
"6!" Zarbon counted off with his fingers raised in the air.  
  
All of a sudden a gleeful, childish shout ripped through the air.  
  
"What the..."  
  
"FLYING TACKLE GLOMP!"  
  
"GAH! NO!"  
  
Goku charged madly at Cell. He pounced into the ring and onto Cell, knocking him out of the ring. Goku then proceeded to trap Cell in a bone-crushing glomp.  
  
"What's gotten into you, Goku!? Have you gone crazy...er? Get off of me!" Cell cried, trying to pry Goku off of him.  
  
"Kakarot! What's wrong with you! We were...in...wait a minute..."  
  
"What?" Cell eyed Vegeta, still attempting to get Goku to release him from the embarrassing glomp.  
  
"I WON!"  
  
"What are you talki-DAMMIT! Goku, you cost me the match!"  
  
Goku had no reply. He just held Cell tighter.  
  
Bulma couldn't believe it! Goku had actually saved Vegeta, which in turn saved her! SHE WAS SAVED!  
  
Zarbon kneeled down to raise Vegeta's arm. "Vegeta wins by ring out!"  
  
***  
  
"What have I done!?" Chi Chi sobbed. She had just witnessed her husband fall in love with another person...another GUY...and it was all her fault! "I should have just dealt with his unhealthy pill obsession! Now he's obsessed with...with...CELL!"  
  
Chi Chi looked back down at the frying pan she held in her hands. "Maybe if I hit him again, I can fix everything!" With a devilish glint in her eye, Chi Chi set off to plot.  
  
***  
  
Frieza's eyes were glued onto Mrs. Haggison's figure. He snorted at the noise his fellow classmates were producing. How could they be so foolish? They were falling right into her little trap! Of course Frieza didn't know what her trap was, but he was convinced there was one.  
  
"Look at her watching Law and Order on her stupid little portable TV," Frieza thought to himself. "Watching her precious show! That's probably the only reason she let us have play time! I wonder if I can get that show canceled..." Frieza sweatdropped at his lack of revenge skills. He needed his servants to help out, but they were just fools! He needed flawless plans, he couldn't afford any botches. This was serious.  
  
***  
  
Dodoria groaned to himself. Why did that Hercule kid have to keep following him!? Curse Mrs. Haggison for sitting them together!  
  
"Listen, Hercule, I told you before...I DON'T LIKE YOU! Stop following me already!"  
  
"But, I find you funny!" Hercule was lying, but he was positive Dodoria couldn't tell. He needed to have at least one friend before he could win the whole class over.  
  
"You...you do? But Lord Frieza always said my jokes were lame!"  
  
"What does that Frieza guy know?"  
  
"Yeah! He wouldn't know funny if it bit him on the nose!"  
  
Hercule glanced around. "Was that supposed to be funny? Just laugh, idiot!" His mind screamed at him. "Hahahaha!" Hercule let out quite possibly the worst fake laugh known to man, but Dodoria didn't know the difference. No one had ever laughed at his jokes before. He decided to take back what he said about Hercule. This kid wasn't bad, not bad at all.  
  
***  
  
Piccolo cracked open an eye and looked around. It was eerily quiet, he was certain Launch was around somewhere. Piccolo sighed and closed his eye, but found both open after hearing a giggling noise. Piccolo narrowed his eyes suspiciously and glanced around, trying to find where the giggle had come from. He picked himself off the ground and checked by the cubbies.   
  
"I GOT YOU!"  
  
Piccolo had no time to react before Launch threw herself onto him. Surprisingly Launch put a lot of her weight into the hug, forcing both chibis to fall to the ground.  
  
"Hello!" Launch chimed cheerfully.  
  
Piccolo stared at her with a half shocked, half annoyed look on his face. "Where exactly did you come from?"  
  
"The coat closet, silly!"  
  
Piccolo cursed under his breath. Of course, the coat closet! He was so close! If only he had looked there instead, he would have saved himself a lot of embarrassment.  
  
"You're so funny, Pi-ah...ahhh..."  
  
"Oh no!" Piccolo had no idea what to do! Launch was about to sneeze, and he experienced her sneeze before. It was not pretty at all.  
  
"AH CHOU!"  
  
Piccolo gaped wide-eyed at the now blonde haired Launch, who happened to be glaring menacingly at him and holding a machine gun.  
  
***  
  
Cell finally pried the crazed Goku off of himself.  
  
"What's wrong with you!?" Cell screamed at Goku, upset he had lost the match and a slave.  
  
"I love you, sweetheart!" Goku replied, snuggling up next to Cell.  
  
"You what!? Did you just call me sweetheart!?" Cell thought he was going to have a heart attack. First the kid was addicted to Tylenol and now Goku's in love with him!  
  
Vegeta, Bulma, and Zarbon could barely contain their laughter. It was funny enough that Goku had cost Cell the match with a "flying tackle glomp", but Cell being called sweetheart definitely was one of the funniest things ever.  
  
"Goku, you do realize I'm a guy, right?" Cell asked, desperately trying to move away from Goku.  
  
"Don't be a silly goose! You're no guy, Cellina!" Goku giggled, clinging to "Cellina's" leg.  
  
If Cell responded to Goku, no one heard because it was drowned out by the laughter of Vegeta, Bulma and Zarbon.  
  
"Hahahaha! Cellina!?"  
  
"Shut up!!!" Cell screamed, glaring daggers at the laughing chibis.  
  
"Aww it's ok, Cellina! Don't be mad!" Bulma teased and smiled at Cell.  
  
"MY NAME'S NOT CELLINA AND YOU KNOW-MMMP!"  
  
Goku clamped his hand over Cell's mouth. "Shh! Honey, you're causing a scene!"  
  
Cell began to thrash violently. "MPPPMHHHHHPMMH!!!!!!!!"  
  
***  
  
Mrs. Haggison stepped away from her portable TV to speak with her son-in-law, who happened to be waiting outside the classroom for a report. Frieza selected that time to strike with his ultimate plan.  
  
"This is so...lame, ugh!" Frieza hated to admit it, but he was nothing without his servants. He shrugged to himself, figuring something was better than nothing...even if that something was as dumb as stealing the hag's TV so she couldn't watch her precious Law and Order.  
  
Frieza peeked into the hallway before sneaking to Mrs. Haggison's desk with practiced stealth. He quickly grabbed the portable TV and wondered where he could hide it. Frieza's eyes spotted the perfect spot.  
  
"The new kid's desk...I'll frame him! This isn't so lame anymore!" Frieza smiled to himself as he checked around to see if anyone was looking. The chibis were all occupied and never noticed Frieza slip the TV inside Hercule's desk.  
  
***  
  
Chi Chi sat in the corner and pondered about how she was going to go about bashing Goku in the head again. She looked over to Goku who was currently trying to kiss an irrate Cell and sweatdropped.  
  
"I guess I'll just go over there and whack him while he's busy with Cell," Chi Chi said to herself with a shrug of her shoulders.  
  
She got up off the floor, dusted herself off and walked over to Cell and Goku. Chi Chi held the frying pan as if it were a baseball bat and took a swing.  
  
BONK!!!!  
  
Goku stumbled around before falling lifelessly to the ground. The chibis present blinked at Chi Chi, wondering exactly why she just walked over and mercilessly struck Goku in the head with a plastic frying pan.  
  
"Uuuuhh..." Goku groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. Again, his eyes were replaced by hearts. Chi Chi silently prayed to Kami that it this time it worked right.  
  
***  
  
Woo! I finally updated! Took long enough, ne? I kept getting interrupted while writing this chapter =-_-()= Anyway...please review and tell me what you thought! *gives thumbs up* Thanks so much! And I apologize for the CellxGoku-ness in there =^^()= I just HAD to put that there for my girlfriend. We're totally obsessed with that pairing *giggles* 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Wow. I am SERIOUSLY very sorry. Whoever said junior year was the hardest wasn't joking. School has been eating away all my time. I have an essay almost every week to write for my AP history class and my physics teacher treats us like college students, so a lot of time is spent trying to teach myself physics so I can hand in my homework. What time I do manage to get is spent with my boyfriend, who I don't get to see often 'cause he lives a few towns away from me. My Christmas break has just flown by. This is my last day of freedom and I'm home alone with nothing to do. I figured I was a little (more like WAY) overdue for an update. I hope everyone had wonderful holidays and happy new year to all you guys!

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or Tylenol. I asked for the legal rights to both for Christmas, but Santa was stingy this year

ENJOY!

* * *

Goku winced as he stood up from the ground. Chi Chi awaited eagerly for his next move. Would he finally be in love with her? Or would he become obsessed with someone else?

"Mmm..." Goku took a step forward, closing the space between him and Chi Chi.

"Oh Goku!" Chi Chi cooed, joy and excitement flowing through her body. She leaned forward to catch Goku in her arms, but found herself lying face-down on the floor. Now where did he disappear to?

* * *

Launch had Piccolo pinned underneath her. She pointed her machine gun right at Piccolo's head.

"Now, Launch, you wouldn't want to hurt me...would you?" Piccolo silently prayed he could somehow get through to her. Maybe her normal self was trapped inside somewhere and if he tried hard enough, he could reach her. Such a Goku thing to do, but it was better than getting shot.

"Now why wouldn't I want to hurt you?" Launch grinned devilishly, pushing the gun harder into Piccolo's head. He was really screwed now. So much for trying to get through to her.

"PICCOLA!" 

"Huh?"

Piccolo and Launch looked to see Goku running toward them. What on earth was going on with this kid now?

"Goku, what are you doing!?"

"Piccola, I missed you!" Goku flung himself at "Piccola", knocking Launch out of the way.

Piccola? Piccolo's face contorted in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Goku giggled gleefully and poked Piccolo's cheeks. "You, silly!"

Piccolo growled and pushed Goku off himself. Had this kid gone mad? Wait, no. He was already crazy, but this was just insane.

Goku clung to Piccolo's arm and rubbed his face against it, much like a cat does. "Oh I missed you so much! Give your honey some sugar!" Goku said, turning his cheek for Piccolo to kiss.

"WHAT!?" Piccolo's eyes bulged out of his head. "Are you insane, Goku!? I'm not KISSING you! AND MY NAME IS PICCOLO!!"

"GET OFF HIM!"

Goku and Piccolo's heads both snapped in Launch's direction. Her envious eyes glared straight at Goku. She gripped her machine gun and took a threatening step forward.

"Why should I get off my beloved Piccola?" Goku blinked innocently at Launch, who took another step toward Goku.

* * *

"So we need to find him fast!"

Cell, Zarbon, Vegeta and Bulma stared at Chi Chi, who had just finished explaining the situation with Goku.

"You're telling me that you decided to bash Goku upside the head in order to get him 'normal'?" Cell asked, trying to clear up his confusion. Maybe Chi Chi and Goku belonged together. They were obviously both nutcases.

Chi Chi nodded her head shamefully. "I was just angry because he was paying attention to his stupid Tylenol..."

"We'll help you find him, Chi Chi. And we'll make sure he goes back to normal...well normal for him." Bulma offered her friend a smile.

"Thanks."

* * *

Frieza made his way back to his desk unnoticed. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Though his plan started out lame, it was now going to be very interesting. He wondered what Mrs. Haggison would do to the new kid once she found her TV in his desk.

"Frieza, you truly are the greatest," Frieza congratulated himself. "I knew I didn't need my servants. I'm perfectly capable of carrying out plans myself."

Frieza leaned back in his desk, extremely pleased with himself. He watched the door for Mrs. Haggison's return.

* * *

"Kindergarten graduation is just around the corner, Agnes."

Mrs. Haggison sighed at her son-in-law's doubt of her abilities. How could he possibly think she wouldn't be able to whip these dumb brats in shape before their graduation? He was too worried about the school's reputation and that made him weak. She narrowed her eyes at him in disgust. Pitiful.

"I can assure you that they will be the best behaved children in this school, and they will continue their good behavior when they enter the elementary school. You hired me, did you not? So why are you so skeptical now? I thought you knew I was perfect for this task." Mrs. Haggison folded her arms as the principle shifted nervously. She even intimidated him! How dumb could he be to think the brats would take control of her?

"Yes, yes I did. However, I thought the same thing about Sargent Smiley. He's an army Sargent and they killed his spirit! I'm just nervous-"

"About the school's reputation?" Mrs. Haggison cut in.

"Well...yes."

The hag shook her head at what she saw as her son-in-law's incompetence. She turned her back and went into the classroom, more determined than ever to show that she was fully adequate to handle a few bratty kids.

* * *

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?" Hercule sighed. How many more of Dodoria's stupid jokes did he have to sit through? Getting people to like him sure was hard work.

"Cargo!"

"Cargo who?"

"Car go beep beep!" Dodoria started cracking up at his own joke.

Hercule sat absolutely stunned at the terrible joke Dodoria just told. He thought the other one's were bad, but that one just took the cake. How was that supposed to be funny?

Hercule ran the joke through his head once more, not amused whatsoever, but he had to laugh. "Ha...haha..."

Dodoria squealed. "I'm so happy you liked that one! Lord Frieza hated that joke the most. I'm not sure why, I think it's hilarious!"

"Yeah...me too..." Hercule was ready to jump out the window. He picked the worst person to get to like him first.

* * *

Launch was now backing Goku into a corner, gun aimed at his head.

"Listen, Piccola and I are very happy together! I know you're jealous because Piccola is a very pretty girl, but I'm almost positive she doesn't swing that way if you know what I mean."

"SHUT UP!" Launch screamed, poking Goku with the gun. "Piccolo is a boy and he's MINE!"

Goku giggled. "Silly, you're confused. Piccola is obviously a girl and she's not yours."

Launch had enough of Goku's stupidity. She brought the gun up, aimed and pulled the trigger. The bullet bounced off Goku's head and dropped to the floor.

"Hehe, ow! That kind of stung." Goku rubbed the tiny red mark the bullet made on his forehead.

Launch growled, fed up with the lack of pain she caused and whacked Goku with the butt of her gun just as Chi Chi and the others arrived.

"Oh kami!" Chi Chi watched Goku fall to the ground and hoped he'd turn back to normal.

The chibis crowded around Goku as he slowly regained consciousness.

"What happened? Where are my Tylenol?" Goku looked around, then up at the chibis staring at him. "Hi...?"

"YAY!" Chi Chi jumped up and down. "He's back, he's back!"

* * *

Mrs. Haggison returned to her desk and sat in her chair. "I hope I didn't miss much." She looked ahead, excepting to see Law and Order. Instead she saw nothing but the anger. Which brat took her TV? Mrs. Haggison cleared her throat, "GET BACK INTO YOUR SEATS!!"

All the chibis turned to look at the hag, noticing her face was turning red and she was scowling more than usual. They decided it was best to go without any complains.

Satisfied that the chibis listened, Mrs. Haggison walked to the front of the room. "Someone took my portable TV and if they confess now, there will be no consequences." She figured it would be a better approach to play nice first. If she started threatening them, they might get scared and never confess.

The chibis looked around the room at each other. They were basically all around each other, so then how could one of them have done it?

Ah ha...

The chibis turned their attention to the smirking Frieza, as did Mrs. Haggison.

"I knew it!" She stormed over to Frieza's desk. "Where is it, brat!"

"I don't have your stupid TV, you hag! Are you sure you're just not going senile?" Frieza smiled as Mrs. Haggison's face turned even redder. Frieza 2, Mrs. Haggison 0.

"Give back the TV!"

Frieza wanted to hint for her to check desks, but he didn't want to seem too suspicious. How could he go about doing this?

"Where do you think I put it? In my desk?" Frieza asked, congratulating himself in his mind once again.

Mrs. Haggison's face lit up. "Good idea, brat! I'm going to check everyone's desks, starting with yours!" Mrs. Haggison checked Frieza's desk, ready to prove she was right in assuming he took it. She stood back up after searching his desk, disappointed.

"It would appear that you were wrong." Frieza smiled.

Mrs. Haggison muttered something under her breath and continued her search. She looked through almost everyone's desks and found nothing! She only had one person left. Hercule.

"Before I look in your desk, I'm going to give you a chance to redeem yourself." Mrs. Haggison looked at Hercule, who seemed to be fine. She was expecting him to be nervous. Maybe he didn't take it.

"I didn't take it!"

"Ok, you had your chance." Mrs. Haggison said, beginning her search through Hercule's desk. "What's this?"

The class gasped as Mrs. Haggison held up her portable TV. The new kid was a thief?

"I didn't take it, honest!" Hercule cried. "You can ask Dodoria, I was with him the whole time! Tell her, Dodoria!"

Dodoria knew it couldn't have been Hercule who took the TV. He had been listening to his jokes the whole time. There was only one person who could have done it and that person was Frieza. So what was he to do? Sell out his master or go along with the only kid to ever laugh at his jokes?

Dodoria looked back and forth between his master and Hercule. "Um...I don't know what you're talking about Hercule." He had to, surely Frieza would beat him up. Besides, he had known Frieza way longer and was loyal to him. No amount of laughter could make him betray his Lord.

"What!?" Hercule was in total shock. Why would Dodoria lie like that? "I really didn't do it, I swear!!"

"And I gave you a chance of redemption," Mrs. Haggison shook her head. "You're really in for it now."

Hercule looked around to room for another witness. Someone had to have seen him with Dodoria. "I really didn't take it!"

"No one can trust a thief. Now get up!"

* * *

Eep! I wonder what's going to happen to Hercule. So...good, bad, ugly? Let me know! Thanks!! 


	13. Chapter 13

What!? I'M UPDATING!?! I know, I know. It's been...forever. My boyfriend got an amazing deal on the entire Cell Saga and we watched it together. It made me feel so nostalgic and rekindled my love and obsession for Cell (Cell: Of course!)

So much has changed since I last updated this. I was still in high school haha! I'm almost done with my junior year of college (I was a junior in high school last time! AH!) Um...I moved out of my parents' this summer and live with my boyfriend of two years, who I met at college. I'm 20 (so old!!...and 5 months away from being 21!!)

I hope you've all been doing well! And enjoy the chapter! I miss entertaining you guys!!

Disclaimer: Me: As always, I don't own DBZ. *nudges Cell* Cell: She also doesn't own Law and Order or Tylenol Me: *coughs* Cell: Ugh! I am not saying it!! Me: Come oooon!! Cell: *sighs* But she owns me as a house slave Me: Much better!

* * *

Mrs. Haggison grabbed Hercule by his ear. How dare this brat take her TV and cause her to miss her precious Law and Order! Where was the respect for elders and great TV shows? She didn't want to admit her son-in-law might have been right to doubt her abilities to shape these kids up before graduation, but this did give her a perfect time to set an example since obviously they were lacking in respect. What could she do to Hercule that was within limits?

The chibis all watched, shocked to learn the new student was a thief. A few of them already knew he was a liar, watching him lose horribly to Vegeta after boasting on and on about how powerful he was, but a thief? For shame...

"Honest, I didn't do it, Mrs. Haggison!!" Hercule cried out, struggling to get his ear out of her old, wrinkly fingers.

"If you're going to be a thief, you might as well be an honest one!" Mrs. Haggison was a bit miffed he ruined her train of thought. There wasn't much she could do within reason to this chibi. She didn't need to get banned from teaching and possibly sued by this brat's parents. Then it hit her. "You're going to put on a one-man show."

"A what?"

"Since you decided I had to miss my TV show, you can act out the episode for me in front of the entire staff. I will print you out a copy of the script, and you will perform tomorrow after school. And to make sure you don't try to steal from your classmates, you will be switching seats with Frieza."

Frieza mentally patted himself on the back for getting his seat back, but the hag didn't suffer too much from this. Perhaps now that he would be sitting next to Dodoria, he could come up with a better plan.

The bell rang. The chibis got their stuff and went home.

* * *

The chibis walked in the next morning chattering away, mostly about Hercule's "punishment".

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU!?" Frieza yelled, grabbing everyone's attention.

"We could ask you the same thing." Vegeta huffed.

Frieza ignored Vegeta's remark and continued on. "How can you all walk in here acting as if you don't have a care in the world? That hag is still our teacher! We need to get rid of her!"

"She's not that bad. I mean, we do need some discipline." Cell pointed out.

"Not that bad!?" Frieza began pacing around the room. "Isn't it our duty to get rid of these teachers who think they can teach us!"

"Isn't that what teachers are supposed to do...?" Goku scratched his head with his hand that just happened to be holding a leash attached to his bottle of Tylenol.

Frieza stared at him. "Well yes, but...we have a reputation to uphold!"

"Well technically we got rid of the first teacher by an accident. We were just being normal and she couldn't handle it." Bulma stated matter-of-factly.

Frieza stopped pacing and shook his head at his fellow classmates. "You're all useless! I can't believe you have lost sight of our goals! This woman is the absolute worst out of all of them, and you're all...brainwashed! At least I know my men are with me! Anyone else?" Frieza looked around the room, hopeful.

"She needs to go down!" Hercule walked in the room with his finger pointed in the air. The chibis glanced around, wondering if they were imagining odd rock music playing in the background. And where did Hercule get that cape? As a matter of fact, how was the cape blowing in the wind? They were inside...

"She delivered this script to my house. I can barely read and they use really, really big words! I didn't even take her stupid TV..." Hercule folded his arms across his chest. There was no way he was going through with this one-man show.

"Fine then. It looks like it will just be me, Zarbon, Dodoria, and new kid-"

"My name is Hercule..."

"Whatever." Frieza turned back to the rest of the chibis. "We'll save your lousy butts, and you better be grateful when we do!"

The chibis got in their seats as Mrs. Haggison walked in, looking smug. She was anticipating Hercule's one-man show. He surely would never mess with her, or Law and Order, ever again.

"Good morning, class." She started to her desk, placing her briefcase down. "I trust everyone had a good day yesterday after school? Did you receive the script, Hercule?"

Hercule mumbled, fairly embarrassed and angry.

"What was that, son?"

"Huh?" Goku lifted his head toward the teacher, wondering what she wanted.

Mrs. Haggison let out an aggravated sigh. "Not you!"

She settled down at her desk, reviewing her plans for the day. She had decided to whip up some scare tactics, hoping to scare these children into respecting her and other elders. A little video about military training wouldn't hurt, right?

"We're going to watch a movie today."

"YAY!" The class erupted into premature cheers. They had no idea what kind of movie, but in their little chibi brains they imagined something fun, like cartoons.

"This is a movie on what happens when you don't respect authority."

The class grew silent, no longer cheering or even smiling. What kind of movie was that?

Mrs. Haggison, happy they shut up, carted a TV into the room that had been waiting in the hallway. She slipped in an old VHS tape and sat down at her desk.

Bulma, Chi Chi, and Launch looked away. Not only were they bored, but they were disgusted by the video. The boys definitely seemed to be enjoying it. They were all leaning forward at their desks, trying to get a better look. Well, all of them except for Frieza and Dodoria.

"We have to come up with a plan, Dodoria." Frieza whispered to his desk-mate and loyal subject.

"I don't know what we can do, Lord Frieza. She's kind of tough."

"Dodoria, your loyalty pleased me yesterday when you didn't rat me out. Don't ruin it by disappointing me now."

Dodoria sighed. While he liked being under the protection of Frieza, he could get annoying. He wanted to watch the movie. Everyone else, minus the girls, was enjoying it. Instead, he had to sit here and "brainstorm" with his lord. "Why don't we pass a note to Zarbon?" Dodoria suggested to Frieza.

"Ah! Good idea. Maybe he knows!" Frieza reached in his desk and pulled out a purple crayon (his favorite color) and a piece of paper. He quickly scribbled and then coughed to get Piccolo and Launch's attention to the fact he had a note to pass.

Mrs. Haggison's keen eyes picked up quickly on the piece of paper. Teaching at a high school for 30 years had given her a 6th sense to note-passing. She stood up, paused the movie, and turned on the lights. The chibis moaned and squinted as their eyes adjusted to the sudden change.

"It appears Frieza has something he wants to share with the class."

Frieza glared at her. "No I don't!"

"Oh? You weren't trying to pass a note? Could have fooled me."

"A note isn't something to be shared with everyone, duh, that's why it's a note." Frieza replied sarcastically.

Mrs. Haggison returned his glare. "If you were paying attention to the movie, I doubt you would have responded like that! Now hand over the note."

Frieza tried to shove the note in his mouth, but found his arm was being stopped by Mrs. Haggison, who was now prying the note from his little hands.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

She smiled as the paper slipped through his chubby digits and proudly opened the note. Her smile quickly faded as she stared at a bunch of funny symbols and shapes. "What the hell..." she thought to herself.

Frieza was wondering why she wasn't reading his note and screaming at him, but he wasn't complaining. The class waited, a bit confused by the face their teacher was making.

"Uh well...never mind, back to the movie!" She kept the note on her desk, desperate to find something later to translate it, and turned the movie back on.

To the girls' relief, the movie ended about an hour later. They had resorted to playing MASH to pass the time, but Chi Chi was ruining it by having a silent fit every time Goku got crossed out from being her husband. And the one time she lucked out, she and her "husband" Goku would be living in a shack. Suffice to say Chi Chi was not a happy camper.

Launch turned back around in her seat as Mrs. Haggison turned off the movie. She quietly giggled to herself, which earned her a look from Piccolo.

"What are you giggling about?" Not that he cared, because he didn't...

Launch bit her lip and smiled. "Do you like kids?"

Piccolo was confused. They were kids, what did she mean? He gave her a blank stare.

"You know, like babies?"

"Not really..."

Launch began giggling again. "Oh because MASH said we were going to have 10!!" She covered her mouth with her hands to avoid getting in trouble. Her and Piccolo having 10 babies? She wondered if they'd be green.

Piccolo knew he shouldn't have asked. He silently wondered what "MASH" was, and resolved to find out during free time because he certainly wasn't having 10 babies. Could he even HAVE babies?

* * *

Mrs. Haggison finished up her discipline lesson by having the chibis write a response to the movie. Most of them couldn't write well, but the general idea was there: "You should respect authority". There were a few remarks made by Vegeta and Cell about them being weaker, so it not mattering. And then there was that Goku...something about not holding back if Tylenol was in danger...? Mrs. Haggison wasn't sure, but she let it slide.

Then there was Frieza's paper. Blank. Just his name sitting crooked in the top margin. She knew he hadn't been paying attention because he was busy writing that odd note, but even the girls made up the correct answer. She growled under her breath. He was such a trouble maker! There was no doubt in her mind that Frieza wasn't mostly, if not solely, responsible for all the previous teachers leaving. Maybe Hercule had been telling the truth.

No matter now; it was too late. She could not admit she made a mistake, especially because of Frieza. No, he was not winning. She would be triumphant. No child, no matter how alien looking (or actually alien...) would defeat her!

Mrs. Haggison glanced at the clock. She supposed the chibis could have free time now. Most of them had properly behaved themselves.

* * *

Chi Chi wrung her hands together nervously. She only landed on Goku's name ONCE in MASH and they had lived in a shack!! This was worrying her. What if they never got married? She would live alone forever!

Chi Chi got up and sought out Goku. It wasn't hard to find him, of course he was sitting with his Tylenol...attached to a leash. She sweat dropped. She needed to find a way to manipulate Goku into marriage. She could worry about him making them rich later on in life. First came tying the knot.

She knelt down next to Goku and began cooing over his pills. It took all her strength not to scream and stomp on them. That was certainly not the way to win Goku over.

"Oh look how cute they are!"

Goku looked over at Chi Chi, who was staring adoringly at his Tylenol. "They were being bad today. I had to put them on a leash."

Chi Chi forced a smile onto her face, trying hard not to grind her teeth. "Maybe they could use another parent..."

* * *

Cell was bored. Absolutely, completely, utterly bored!! He lost his slave thanks to a crazed Goku the other day. Now what was he to do?

No one was worthy of his time. He could fight Vegeta again, but that would only waste five minutes. Speaking of Vegeta, where was he? Cell was surprised he didn't storm over demanding a rematch since Goku ruined their fight.

Cell stood up and surveyed the room. He found Vegeta still sitting at his desk with a small device in his hands. Curious, Cell walked over and peered over Vegeta's shoulders.

"Go away, android! Your lameness is ruining my game!"

"Impossible!" Cell frowned. "I'm perfect."

Vegeta paused his game to look at Cell. "You are not! If you're so perfect, try beating my high score!" Vegeta handed his Gameboy (A/N: Don't own that! No, really, I never had a Gameboy...*sniffle*) to a perplexed Cell. "It's called Tetris. I've gotten 50 lines! Try and beat that!!"

Cell chose to start a new game, wondering exactly what that entailed. He watched as an odd block that looked suspiciously like a z started falling on his screen. He hit a button and it changed its direction!!

* * *

Mrs. Haggison picked up the note Frieza had written. What could these symbols mean? Why did he use them to write? Obviously this child was not human, but it never occurred to her that he would have used another language. This was giving him an advantage and Agnes Haggison was not letting a child have the upper hand.

She got up, note in hand, and peeked out into the hallway. She spotted another teacher on break and beckoned her over.

"I need to...make copies." Mrs. Haggison lied. "Could you watch my class? They're having free time, so really you just need to stand guard."

The teacher nodded, knowing better than to get on Mrs. Haggison's bad side if she wanted tenure.

Mrs. Haggison dashed down the hallway to find a computer to use. Someone somewhere on the internet must know what this language is and what these symbols mean.

* * *

Frieze smiled as he watched the hag leave the room. He motioned for his minions to gather around, and decided to share with them the ingenious plan he had come up with.

"What is the worst kind of glue?"

Hercule, Dodoria, and Zarbon all looked at each other. Was he trying to tell a joke? No one knew how to answer Frieza, and instead, remained silent. They only offered Frieza raised eyebrows.

Frieza sighed loudly. "Super glue. It is the key to our revenge!"

"My Lord...?" Zarbon knew Frieza has gone a bit crazy with this revenge thing, but he was starting to get creeped out. And they thought his obsession with Ms. Machnik was weird...

"Here's the plan, you dummies. Someone needs to fly out the window, get back through the main entrance, sneak into the office, steal super glue, come back here and then we will super glue all her drawers shut!"

"What if they don't have super glue, Lord Frieza?" Dodoria, knowing fully well he was going to be the one to do this, was afraid. What if he got caught? What if he flew all the way over there and there was none!?

Frieza sighed once again. "They're going to have it, Dodoria. Otherwise, don't you think I would have come up with a different plan!?"

Hercule glanced back and forth among the other three chibis. How come no one was questioning the fact he said FLYING? No one could fly! He decided to play it cool though and not mention this part, since no one else was. "I think it's a great idea! We should super glue my script in there too!"

"No."

Hercule pouted. He didn't like this Frieza kid one bit. He was only teaming up with him for the purpose of getting out of his one-man show that was approaching quicker than he liked. He couldn't find anything stopping that from happening in Frieza's plan, and he had just shot down the one thing that would. Damnit!

"Dodoria, go now! We don't have much time."

Dodoria hurried to the window and jumped out. Hercule watched wide-eyed and nearly wet his pants...NEARLY. He was a future world champion, you know.

* * *

"So you're saying you think they're acting up because they're missing a ma...ma..."

"Maternal figure."

"...yeah that, from their lives?"

Chi Chi nodded her head sagely. In reality, she really wanted to scream, "No, you moron! They're not acting up because they're missing a mother! They're not acting up at all. THEY'RE FREAKIN' PILLS FOR KAMI SAKE! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" However, she knew that would not please Goku at all. And an unhappy Goku meant no marriage...and possible pain for Chi Chi since Goku was known to fly off the handle when it came to his pills being insulted or harmed.

"And you want to be their mommy?"

Chi Chi smiled. "As you've seen from my t-shirt the other day, I love Tylenol. I would love to adopt them as my own, Goku, but you see, there's a law in the way."

"A law?" Goku cocked his head to the side and blinked at Chi Chi.

Chi Chi smiled and continued on. "Yeah, this law states we have to be married in order for me to adopt your Tylenol."

Goku jumped up to his feet. "Then it's settled! We'll get married!!"

Chi Chi squealed in delight. Goku finally agreed to marry her!! IN YOUR FACE, MASH!

* * *

"It stands for mansion, apartment, shack, or house."

Piccolo looked at the piece of paper Launch had in her hands. So this was that "MASH" thing she mentioned.

"And how does it work?"

"We have these categories and we pick things to put under them. So like for cars, you could put a jeep and a limo, or an ice cream truck."

"An ice cream truck?"

Launch giggled and nodded. "You have to put some silly ones in there!"

Piccolo nodded, pretending he understood. Really, he didn't, but he wasn't sure if it was supposed to make sense. "And how do you pick which one I land on?"

"I start making dots on the paper, but you can't see! Then you tell me to stop and however many dots I made make up the number! Then I start at a category and count, so say I made 5 dots," Launch paused to count to 5 and crossed off 'limo' under cars, "now limo is out and I start again from THIS spot and count to 5 until one from every category is left!"

Piccolo frowned at the paper. So this decided his fate? "Let's play..."

* * *

Bulma had been coloring quietly, but got bored after a while. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. She saw Vegeta and, unfortunately Cell, sitting together. She decided to see what they were up to.

"Hi guys!" Bulma greeted cheerfully. She received silence in response. Her lips formed into a pout. "Um, hello...?"

"Shhh!" Vegeta hushed Bulma as he stared intently at Cell.

What on earth were they doing? She tried to peek over Cell's shoulder, but he quickly moved. She was getting angry now. She tried to grab for the game, but was stopped by Vegeta, who yelled "NO!" at her and latched on to her wrist. At least he was paying attention to her now.

"What were you thinking!?" Vegeta practically screamed at her.

Bulma had no idea how to respond. What the hell was this thing and why was it so important? "What are you guys doing?"

"We're playing Tetris. Mr. Imperfect-"

"Perfect." Cell quickly corrected.

"-is currently trying to beat my score, which he won't because he sucks and I'm the greatest."

"Can I play?"

"No." Cell answered, then went back to the game.

"Why not!?"

Vegeta cringed at her high pitched screech. "Damnit, woman, stop screeching!"

Bulma stomped her foot. "But I want to play too!"

Cell exited out of the game, smirk plastered on his face. "Pity, I only had 36 lines. Anyway, I have an idea how we can all play."

Bulma would have been excited at the prospect of being included, except Cell suggested it. And he had an eerie smirk on his face. She didn't think she was going to like this.

"Vegeta and I will play for keeps."

"Keeps of what..." Bulma didn't like where this was going. Not one bit...

Cell's smirk broke into a smile. "You, of course. Whoever gets the highest score wins you."

"You're on android!"

"What a minute!! I don't agree to this!!" Bulma instantly regretted coming over. Why couldn't she have kept coloring?

"Quiet, woman. You think Cell can beat me at Tetris, my OWN game? I will not be defeated!"

"But Vegeta-"

Vegeta cut Bulma off by raising his hand in the air, signaling her to stop. Didn't he understand how Cell's mind worked? There was no way Cell, a calculating machine, would lose at a game like this.

Vegeta grabbed Bulma and pulled her to the side. "Didn't you hear him say he only got 36 lines?"

"Vegeta," Bulma whispered, "I think he said it on purpose. You know, as part of his plan?"

Vegeta almost looked hurt. "You don't think I can win?"

"No, Vegeta it's not that! Wait!!" Bulma felt terrible. She upset Vegeta by doubting him, but didn't she have a right to? She watched him turn away from her and walk up to Cell. They sealed the deal with a handshake.

"We start tomorrow. I'll even allow you to practice at home, Vegeta."

"Ha! Like I need it, Cell!"

* * *

Dodoria had arrived back safely and set to work. Frieza, Hercule, and Zarbon had all made sure every last bit of her things were in drawers. Hercule tried to sneak his script in there a few times, but was promptly stopped by an annoyed Frieza.

They had resolved to figuring out what to do with the super glue, while Dodoria did the dirty work.

"I suggest you just throw it out the window and blast it, Lord Frieza."

Hercule felt out of place again. Blast it? With what? How!? He did watch Dodoria jump out a window and "fly", but he was sure it was a trick. Something Frieza conjured up to play games with him. Yeah, that was it.

"I suppose Zarbon, that really is the best way. If she tries to even ask for super glue, to see if we stole it, they won't even have any. Genius!"

"Um...Lord Frieza...?"

"Not now Dodoria, we're busy!"

"...it's kind of important, sire."

Frieza rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

"You kind of need to be over here."

Frieza shut his eyes and rubbed his temples, much like he had seen his father do many times. He walked over to Dodoria. What was the damn problem!? "What?"

"I...glued myself to the desk."

"You WHAT!? Imbecile!!" Frieza stared at Dodoria's right hand, which was now married to the desk, thanks to minister super glue. "We don't have time for this, Dodoria! She's coming back!"

Dodoria looked panicked as he struggled to get his hand off the desk. He only resulted in taking the desk with him.

"Stop moving! Try using your ki, idiot."

Dodoria stopped struggling and concentrated his ki into his hand.

"Not so much!!"

Dodoria flinched at his Lord's yelling and exerted a small amount of ki, which loosened the glue. He was free!! "You're so smart, Lord Frieza!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now give me the container so I can dispose of it."

Frieza went to the window, threw the super glue, and sent a small ki blast after it. Evidence gone.

Hercule watched in amazement at what just happened. There was no way that was real. He's full of tricks, so obviously that was just one of them...

* * *

Piccolo frowned at the paper sitting in front of him. He was going to be a door-to-door vacuum salesman, live in an apartment, marry Launch and have 10 kids (it was true!!), and drive a mini van. Why would Kami curse him with such a life!? Damn fool! Piccolo would get revenge on him...

"Come on, Piccolo, it's not so bad! You're married to me at least."

Piccolo grumbled and Launch turned away, embarrassed. Maybe he thought that was the worst option of them all.

Piccolo sensed he upset Launch, but didn't know what to say. Honestly, he did think the best thing on the paper was Launch, but how was he supposed to tell her? She didn't need to know it was because the other ones were so horrible, but he didn't need her to start crying or something.

"Um...out of all the categories, the "wife" was the only one where the best option was picked..." Piccolo barely choked out the words, but there...he said it.

Launch emitted some kind of high pitched noise that hurt Piccolo's sensitive ears and whipped around to glomp him. His green cheeks took on a red appearance as he tried to brush her off.

* * *

Mrs. Haggison returned to her class royally pissed. The internet, the entire damn internet, and no one had any information on this language!? Was he trying to mess with her?

"Get a hold of yourself, Agnes, he's just a child," she told herself.

Mrs. Haggison placed the note back on her desk, her empty desk? That's right, she had put everything away to watch Law and Order, but now it was too late. Oh well, time to get out the lesson plan and continue on with the day.

She reached down to open a drawer, but found it was stuck. She pulled harder, but only the entire desk moved. Her wrinkles formed angry lines. What was the meaning of this? She tried another drawer, but it wouldn't budge either.

"Don't let them see you angry..."

Mrs. Haggison took a deep breath, and moved her chair to sit down, except it too was frozen in place.

Frieza watched as she couldn't even more her chair. "Nice touch, Dodoria!"

Dodoria welcomed the praise, not bothering to tell Frieza he accidentally dropped the super glue on the floor when he glued his hand to the desk.

The chibis all got back in their desks when they saw Mrs. Haggison arrived, and were currently trying not to laugh as she struggled to open her drawers and move her chair.

Mrs. Haggison counted to 10 in her head; she took long, deep breathes; she thought of peaceful, panoramic scenes, but nothing was changing the fact that she wanted to pick her desk up and throw it out the damn window. Her purse was in there for god sake! How was she supposed to get home!?

Mrs. Haggion needed to find out who was responsible. They must have the glue on them now. She turned to the class, forcing a smile on her face. "It appears I can't open my drawers...because of the mess I have in them. So I propose we clean out our desks today! Take everything out and put it on your desk, then we will decide what is junk and what to keep." Genius! An inconspicuous way to see what everyone has in their desk.

The chibis got to work, removing items and papers from their desks. Soon they had a pile sitting on top. Mrs. Haggison walked around surveying the junk. Much to her dismay, there was no trace of super glue, not even regular glue. Could they have used something else?

Mrs. Haggison excused herself, but those with sensitive ears heard her screaming down the hall. Frieza had really set her off, for the first time.

She entered the room again, informing Hercule he would not be performing today. She had some important phone calls to make, mostly calling for a lock-smith for her car, but the chibis did not need to know. They could not see her frustration, otherwise they won. Mrs. Haggison tried her best to remain as calm as she could until it was time for them to leave. Once out of her sight, she flipped one of the desks in frustration. She knew Frieza was behind this, she just knew it!

* * *

Uh oh! Frieza finally got her good!! I will try to update soon, because I really enjoyed writing this again! Don't forget to review!


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